The Need to Feel
by r.b.fanfic
Summary: Their kiss destroyed everything they knew about them, about family, about love, about morality, about normality. It wasn't about perfection, about love at first sight or love at first kiss! It was beyond that. It was about pure feeling. They were only feeling. And nothing could have been more powerful. Nothing could have devastated their life more than that kiss.
1. Part 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. Draco was there first.

This was supposed to be an OS, a nice and short comforting OS after a difficult time. It turned out Albus, James and the other characters had more things to say. So my friend Bouya advised me to divide the story in few parts. But if you want to read it as an OS, feel free…

* * *

It all started when Albus Severus said to his father to "fuck off". It was a nice evening in the Potter's home, the first day of the holidays actually, and they were having a peaceful meal. Of course, as a grown-up, a husband, the father of three teenagers and the Savior of the Wizard World, Harry Potter wasn't really impressed by the outburst of his son. Albus wasn't a difficult teenager per se. He was even pretty cool, kind and quiet but he was an artist and it happened that sometimes he was a little bit edgy. Anyway, Harry had some difficulties to understand his second son. He hadn't had the most usual adolescence himself so it was probably normal. It had been fine when Albus had been a baby and a child, they were so close. But it was more difficult now. His second son was very smart. He wasn't the cleverest Ravenclaw for nothing. And he saw Harry's difficulties and problems. He also knew his weaknesses and knew how to play his father. Saying "fuck off" to his dad in the middle of their dinner was so done on purpose.

Immediately after his harsh words, Albus stood up, leaving the house to go for a walk. The "Albus Severus Potter" that his father yelled at him didn't stop him at all. Harry was red with anger when he finally sat back. He hadn't even noticed that he was standing. First, he looked at Ginny but his wife was as usual waiting for him to make a move. Except he didn't know what to do. Luckily, his eldest son came to his rescue. James excused himself before he left the room too, following closely his brother.

Albus was maybe smaller than James but he was walking fast. That didn't really matter because James perfectly knew where his brother was going. There was a park not so far from their house where Albus liked to hang out. James didn't hurry so. He enjoyed the walk actually. And he thought about what he was going to say to Albus. His brother and he weren't the best friends as the expression put it. They had always been very close. They had always loved to fight but also talk to each other. They shared a lot even if they didn't share the same interests. James wasn't an artist, except maybe when he was on a broom, but he understood his brother, much more than his parents anyway. They must have been even closer if they had been sorted in the same house. Of course, they hanged out together but even if Hogwarts had a new policy since the war, they couldn't be always together. Maybe it was for the best. They had their own friends and it was good. But when the holidays were coming, it was perfect. Harry preferred that his children stayed in family, included Teddy and the Weasleys of course, for the most of their free time, so they were almost 24/7 together and it was awesome. They talked. They argued. They fought. They played. They did lots of Muggle's stuffs – thanks to their dad. James didn't even missed his Quidditch's training, it was quite something after all.

James was still thoughtful when he finally saw the smoke. Albus was laying on a bench – his bench – and he was smoking. James couldn't prevent to glare at him.

"When will you decide to stop that bad habit?" he asked.

He knew it was a lost battle but he couldn't help it. He had to try to take care of his baby brother.

"When you'll stop flying…" answered Albus with a smile.

"If it really helped you to stop then I'd do it."

"The worst is that you're sincere."

"Why is that the worst thing…?"

Albus shrugged.

"Don't know. I was just thinking… So, you're here to lecture me. It's stunning. I didn't think dad would send you…"

"He didn't. I came on my own accord. Dad really didn't see that coming. He was flabbergasted."

Albus laughed. It was so James. The boy didn't even try to tell him it was wrong. He already knew Albus knew it pretty well. James had done worse things in his young life.

"You should apologize anyway" kept going James as if he had heard Al's thoughts.

"I don't want to… I had my reasons and they were good."

"I know it. But it hurt dad nonetheless. It's not his fault if he…" he trailed off.

"…doesn't get me. You can say it. I perfectly know it."

"So you're gonna apologize."

"What there for me if I do it?" asked Albus slyly.

"You should have been in Slytherin, Al', I swear to you. When you smile like that."

"What do you say?" answered Albus as if he hadn't heard James at all.

"What do you want?" asked James finally.

"I need a model…"

"So, it was just about it… You're stressed because of your project."

"You see through me, Jamie."

"If only! You're a mystery, most of the time."

"What's your answer?"

"If you promise to apologize and not make any outburst for all the summer, I'll do it. I just have another terms: I don't want any comment."

"You know me… I wouldn't dare."

"I know you, that's why I warn you."

"Well, let's say we have a deal."

"Let's go then. Dad would be happy to see you before he goes to bed."

"And I'll be happy to begin drawing."

James rolled his eyes. Albus was impossible sometimes.

The two brothers stood up and walked in silence, playing with each other, as they used to.

…

The apology was quickly given, Albus playing his "role" perfectly. He could be a Slytherin sometimes, it was true. Then, he took James to his studio. He couldn't complain: his parents were very nice. Each of their kid had, additionally to their bedroom, an extra room to do what they wanted in. So, of course, Albus had a place to draw, paint, in the attic. He loved that place a lot and had decorated it with his colors: blue and green. It was his sanctuary.

"So, tell me about your project." Said James immediately after they came into the room. "What do you plan to do?"

"Well…" said Albus uneasily. "I don't know yet. For now, I'll just make some sketches."

"I know why you're not a snake after all… You're a terrible liar."

"Fuck you!"

"You must be really horny. You can't help but talk about fucking all the time."

And of course, Albus burst out of laughing. And James joined him.

"So what do I need to wear or do…?"

"Just take off your shirt and sat on that sofa. Don't smile. You can talk but try not to move too much."

Being half naked in front of his brother wasn't a problem for James. He was used to undress in front of other boys. And Albus was his brother so… In fact, he was actually pretty proud of his physique. He was known to be as handsome as sexy. But it made James think nonetheless…

They were silent for fifteen minutes when James suddenly exclaimed:

"That's a nude! You want to draw a nude!"

"Merlin, James! What's wrong with your brain? Have you been wanking too much? Fifteen minutes to understand."

"Well, sorry if I hadn't in mind that my brother was going to offer me to pose naked."

"Don't worry. We'll do it slowly. We have all the holidays. So, whenever you're ready… Anyway, you know you're sexy so shut up."

James looked at Albus, blushing. He was actually blushing. How was it possible? He never blushed.

"Don't play dumb or shy with me" smiled Albus. "Everybody at school is in awe in front of you. The girls and the gay boys want to shag you and the straight, well, they just want to be like you."

"And in which case do you put yourself?" asked James to ease the sudden inexplicable tension.

"Well, I'm gay…" answered Albus with a smirk.

It wasn't a surprise for James. Everyone already knew for Albus. But what his brother had just said. He knew it was only a joke, but suddenly, he felt a bit hot. And his rush of feelings weren't ready to go away because Albus had decided to focus on his drawing again. He was looking at James with piercing eyes, as if he wanted to saw his soul or undress him. Maybe both.

Except now that James' mind was clear of every other thought, he was perfectly aware of that. He didn't know what was happening exactly but he felt weird, hot, his heart was beating pretty fast in his chest and the worst thing was that he couldn't take off his eyes of Albus' own. Albus had to look at his papers but their eyes were locked for the most. Both of the brothers could feel the atmosphere changing in the room.

That evening, the Potters brothers went aware they had both a sexuality. And Albus was understanding that the teasing he had made to James wasn't that far from reality. As his brain was realizing that, he was thinking that maybe he had made a mistake asking James to be his model. James was thinking the exact same thing but none of them opened their mouth. They couldn't. Because, despite the incongruity of the situation, even if they were in an area they weren't used to, they felt actually pretty good. More than that even. They felt damn perfect.

"It's gonna be an amazing painting" said finally Albus, breaking their unusual and uneasy silence.

"I hope so. I want to see how much you're talented."

"I'll show you all my talent, if you want…"

Again, their eyes locked. Albus' head was a little bit tilted on the right and it was difficult for James to swallow. He didn't know if Albus had said those equivocal words on purpose. Or maybe he was just being crazy. Yes, that was it. Sirius was after all his middle name. As in Sirius Black. And everybody knew that Blacks were crazy.

"Alright" said James after one minute which seemed to last one hour. "Have a good night."

And after that, he left the room. In Albus' mind, he had rather fled the crime scene. He didn't know why he had said that. No, that was a lie. He knew. He wanted to see James' reaction. Unfortunately, he had said that out loud. James had heard it. And he couldn't put it on the alcohol. He hadn't even drunk. What James was going to think now? Merlin! He was overthinking and he still didn't know what had happened to them. He knew but didn't want to understand. That was sick. He needed to let go of the pressure. So he lighted a first cigarette. He must definitely have to stop thinking about James, his features and his bare-chest cause he had a hard-on now. Thinking about his own brother! James was maybe right. He was just a horny teenager.

That night, Albus went to bed very late. He had finished his whole pack of cigarettes. He couldn't help it. When he was stressed, when he was thoughtful, he had to smoke… This time, though, he didn't know if he could manage to stop smoking one day. He had just discovered something he ignored until then, something he would have never discovered if only he hadn't asked his brother to be his model… Now, he knew he was attracted to his brother. Great! As if his summer couldn't be more stressful.

…

Despite their mutual trouble, James and Albus kept working together. In fact, during the beginning of their holidays, they were almost doing only that. They were addicted to the feeling they got when they were all alone, when Albus was focused only on James, drawing him as if his life depended on it. But they didn't talk about the elephant in the room. Not once.

One week passed.

Then a second one.

The tension between them was increasing. They were waiting for something to happen, something which could force them to talk. Albus was now smoking all the time. He didn't really bother to hide from his parents. He was smoking even in the attic, which was weird, because usually he wasn't stressed when he drew. Of course, he had figured out what was happening to him. At first, he had tried to fight his emotions. But he knew himself too well to know it was a lost battle. So, after several nights full of wet dreams, he had given up and now jerked off thinking about his brother. He knew it was kind of sick. He knew he should have found it disgusting. But the problem was that deep down, he couldn't help but feel right. And that's what troubled him the most. Moreover, he couldn't figure out what James thought about this. He knew his brother was feeling the heated atmosphere, the looks he gave him… But he seemed impervious. Of course, there were uneasy looks, blushing, mumbling… all the signs which proved James was aware and confused by the situation… But nothing more. He didn't even try to talk to him. And for Albus, it was the weirdest thing in the lot. Despite what everybody thought, James was the one who initiated talking…

The thing was James didn't know, didn't understand what was happening to him. First, because he wasn't gay. He wasn't attracted to men. He had never been. And he couldn't see why he had those kinky thoughts about a boy. His brother of all. He was fighting hard against his broken mind. The hardest was to not speak about it with Albus. Yet, it would have been awkward. But, James needed someone to talk about it. Truly, he had lots of friends but only one with whom he wanted to share that. And it was Albus. He knew that the atmosphere between them was worse and worse but they were looking for it, spending all their day together, in the same room, James almost naked in front of Albus. James was smart too. He knew it was going to explode a way or another.

…

And the explosion came… the 15th of July exactly, day of a party the Potter had to intend with members of both their friends/coworkers and the Wizarding World.

It began in the morning when James, who had just awoken few minutes ago, fell on Albus in the bathroom. His brother had just finished his shower. He was only wearing a towel on his hips and James couldn't help but look at his brother in details. They had shared the bathroom more than once but it was a bit different now. After a long moment, much longer than it should have been, James left the room, noticing though, the darkened eyes of Albus. And he perfectly knew what it meant…

He decided to avoid Albus all day long because he still didn't know how to react. It wasn't really that tricky because Albus stayed hidden in his studio. James didn't do a thing except thinking as he was lying on his bed. Then, he dressed for the party, knowing they were soon going to go. He knew he had to do something and quickly because if he waited for the party to talk to Albus, he would chicken out. And everything with Al would be more than awkward.

James gathered some of his Gryffindor's courage and went to the attic. He knocked on the door and waited, thinking that maybe Albus wouldn't have heard his knock because it was too low, or maybe was he too busy and then they wouldn't have to speak. Gryffindor's courage my ass…

The thing was, he didn't know what to expect from himself as he was near his brother. Since he didn't hear any reply, James allowed a sigh to slip from his mouth. He began to turn back when the voice of Albus finally rang:

"It's open."

So, James came in and fall on the angelic sight of his brother. Albus was standing at his window, smoking. He was beautiful, smartly-dressed. His pant was so adjusting, James had to refrain a groan because his ass was perfect. But since when was he looking at his brother's ass? Merlin! It was a bad idea to come here. He could still go away since Albus hadn't notified his presence. But he felt attracted to him like a magnet. When Albus finally turned around, James knew it was too late to escape to his brother's attraction. And then Albus opened his gorgeous – really? – mouth:

"Fuck! You're handsome." He exclaimed and it was obvious that his thoughts had slipped from his mind.

James knew he should have said something like "you're not so bad yourself" just to try a joke but he couldn't. Because, Albus was much more than handsome. He didn't want to joke anyway. He didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know why suddenly his body had begun to move on his own accord, why he was coming closer to Albus a small smile on his lips. He didn't know what he was doing, what was about to happen, but his eyes were locked on Albus nonetheless:

"You shouldn't smoke now" he said in a husky tone. "Your clothes are going to smell awful."

Albus shrugged. He didn't care. He was too fascinated by his brother.

"And your fingers?"

"What about them?" frowned Albus who didn't know if he had missed the beginning of the question.

"They must smell nicotine…"

Albus' eyes widened. What was happening to James exactly? Why was he taking his hand in his own? Why was he moving his fingers to his nose, mimicking a disgusted face, except the real spark in his eyes was very different from disgust? And why was he lowering his fingers to his mouth now?

"James! Albus! Lily!" exclaimed Ginny from the first floor. "We're leaving now!"

Immediately, James let go of Albus hand as if it had burnt him and then he left the room without a word. Albus was more edgy than ever. He needed a fag… No! Something stronger. With a tiny smile, he followed his brother, now eager to arrive to the party…. After all, party meant alcohol.

…

James himself was pretty glad to finally reach the party. He couldn't look at Albus anymore. He didn't know what had happened to him. What had he been about to do exactly? Taste Albus' fingers. Lick them. Fuck! He still wanted to do it. Especially because Albus was still so close to him. That was so sick. His own brother, for Merlin's sake… Let's hope the party was going to help him to forget about everything and maybe clear his mind. At least, if he couldn't figure out what was going on with him and Albus, he could get drunk… which was exactly what Albus intended to do. At the second when they came into the bar where the party took place, he went to the counter, ordering the strongest alcohol the waiter had. Their parents were already talking to some of their friends so Albus didn't get noticed. James, though, was watching him intently. A second drink followed and James understood that Al wanted to get drunk pretty fast. Maybe it was for the best… Albus would forget what had almost happened. Yes, a party was the perfect answer to all their problems…

… Except James understood pretty fast that it was absolutely not the case. Because party meant strangers. Strangers who were so audacious they were talking to them – and by them, James meant Albus – immediately. Strangers who noticed Albus' beauty and his edgy state of mind. He was already drinking his third glass, or maybe was it his fourth – no shit!

James was mesmerized by what was happening. He was standing not so far from the duo of his brother and this 'man' and so was hearing everything they were saying. Albus was obviously not so quiet when he was drinking. He was caustic in fact and it was a little bit – a lot – funny to watch. But the other man didn't mind, it seemed. He leaned on the bar, in an obvious attempt to flirt and went straight to the point.

"Have you paint your body or what? Your ass is so freaking hot with this pant!"

Albus only smirked to the sort of compliment but didn't answer.

"So why did you hurry to the bar?" asked the stranger again.

"You don't want to know, believe me."

"Love trouble?"

"If only… Want a fag?"

"No thanks. But you're obviously not in the mood for talking. So, do you want to go somewhere more private?"

"Even if I could use a good blowjob, you're not my type of man, sorry…" answered Al with a smirk.

"Don't lie. You're almost drunk. Any man would do right."

"Probably. But I don't have drunk enough yet." He laughed.

"Well, I'm sure we can take care of that. Anyway, what I'm offering is better than just me on my knees. I'm sure you'd like to be fucked."

"One advice if you don't want to lose your chances with me: come back when I'll be so pissed, I could think you are… someone else."

"I definitely will." Said the man whom both James and Albus ignored the name. Then he left, a smile on his lips.

James didn't lose one second. Just as Albus was ordering a new drink, he came closer to the man.

"If you dare talking to him again, if you dare trying to touch him, you'll regret it." whispered James in an angry voice in the ear of the stranger.

"Oh my! You want to play the knight. Let me tell you this: he didn't seem to be a damsel in distress. He was enjoying our little encounter and he'll enjoy much more the next one. So, whoever you are, you can go away. You're obviously not shape for him."

"I'm his brother. And don't get me wrong, you're the one who is gonna fuck off. I won't hesitate one second to beat the crap out of you."

James was now shaking. He was so mad. Mad at the man to be so disgusting, to want something he shouldn't want, to want someone who wasn't his… The man didn't seem to take his words seriously but before James got the chance to talk again, he was gone. Without thinking, James led to the bar. He needed something to calm his nerves… but he couldn't get too pissed. He needed to take care of his brother… His brother, who was just in front of him apart from the counter. Their eyes met and all over again, the tension between them increased, despite the presence of all the people.

James saw in Albus' eyes the spark of alcohol but also his desire. And Albus didn't try to hide it, not that night. He was drinking slowly now. James was mimicking his gesture. He would have loved to be that alcohol which slipped in Albus' mouth, in his throat. Al was swallowing with pure joy and James couldn't help but think at that moment what it would happen if it was his own liquid in Albus' mouth… Merlin! He blushed. Again because of his brother. It was maybe wrong but he didn't look elsewhere. Albus seemed to enjoy a lot their silent dialog. His glass was almost empty now. He was slipping his right index on the top of the glass. The movement was so sexual for no reason. Little by little, James felt his body react. Even if they were far from each other, Albus must have noticed. He just knew. And is movement began to fasten until he put his finger, now wet by the alcohol, in his mouth. James saw the tip of Al's tongue and he immediately put his hand on his crotch. Did his brother know the effect he had on him? Of course he knew and he liked it. Just as Albus kept sucking his finger, James sure he was gonna need to go to the bathroom, the awful man came back.

"Was it a show for me?" he asked to Albus.

But the boy didn't look at him, didn't answer. His eyes were wide-opened. He was observing James who had stood up and was now reaching them.

"What I told you earlier!" he exclaimed immediately. "Just go fuck yourself!"

"You know your brother is overprotective!" said the man without answering James.

"You should listen to him… You don't want to see him angry."

"That's what you want… for me to go away?"

"Absolutely!"

"You don't know what you lose."

"But I know what I win." Answered Albus looking straight to James.

And on those words, the man probably left them. Probably because the two brothers didn't notice him anymore.

"Was it good the mix of nicotine and bourbon?" asked James because he really had to.

"It was nice even if I would have loved to suck something else… You want to try?"

James looked at Albus' finger. He'd love to. How could he refrain himself?

"Fuck, you're sexy James… It shouldn't be allowed. I don't even know how I can stay straight right now…"

Albus was smiling and James was biting his lower lip.

"That's so good to be drunk" whispered Albus. "We can do what we want without feeling bad about it. Don't you think?"

Albus knew he was out of line but his mind couldn't care less. He was just wondering what would be James' answer. And he was far from being disappointed.

"I'm ready." Said James with a strong tone despite the whisper.

"For what exactly?"

"To be naked in front of you…"

"Merlin! You know how to play a man James. Do you want me to feel uncomfortable?"

James' eyes traveled to Albus' crotch and he blushed furiously.

"Why are you wearing such a tight pant then?"

"What do you think? I need to know the effect I can have on men…"

"Seeing the looks you get, I think everybody get your point!"

"Is that a bit of jealousy I can hear in your voice?"

"Maybe."

"Interesting."

"You're not the only one who can ease his attitude because of alcohol."

"I can see that… And that's fucking great. I like it a lot and I want to enjoy it."

"I bet you do."

The two brothers laughed at the same time. That was it: they were both drunk. Albus much more than James but still… At that moment, everybody was called to begin the meal. Reluctantly, the boys came to sit together. They were close to each other but even more than the other guests. They both moved their legs for their knees to stroke against each other. It felt good. For both of them. James couldn't think about anything else than his hard-on, and Albus hand which was traveling near his leg. He wanted his brother to touch him. He had difficulties to breathe. He knew they were surrounding by people but it didn't matter, until they were interrupted by the waiter. And Albus took benefit of his presence to ask him for another glass.

"You shouldn't drink more." Said James to his brother when they were alone again.

"If I don't, I would do something you probably regret."

"Not sure about that!" whispered James, which was so true and probably his main problem.

What Albus hadn't expected was that his father would appear just at the moment when his drink was brought to him. Albus rolled his eyes because he knew he wouldn't get away with that.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Harry to the waiter.

"What?"

"He's underage. He has no right to drink alcohol."

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know."

"How many drink did he have?"

"I… I don't really know. I lost count pretty fast."

Harry looked at his son, his green eyes shining.

"How many, Albus?"

"Just enough." Answered Al as a challenge.

"Stand up, Albus. Now and follow me." Replied Harry who tried to keep his anger at bay.

Albus had no choice but comply. He just gave a quick look to his brother before he jumped on his feet and followed his father. They walked outside the bar until they were all alone. Harry didn't wait to grab Albus' arm and Apparate them at their house. He didn't even warn his son, Albus was clever enough to understand – even drunk – that Harry wasn't going to let that go, but not in public.

Already in the living room, Harry pointed the couch at Albus, sign that he had to sit down.

"So, what do you have to tell me about your behavior?" asked Harry straight away, his eyes stuck to Albus' own as if he wanted to read his soul.

"I have nothing to say to you. I'm almost 17, which means in few months I will be able to drink as much as I want. You perfectly know I've begun to drink when I was even younger. So, don't act as if you were surprised."

"Why are you acting like that with me, Albus? I don't understand. I don't understand you at all. You have everything you need, everything you want and yet you act as a spoiled brat."

"You don't understand me?" exclaimed Albus as if Harry was mocking him. "Of course you don't understand! How could you? You have turned off all your emotions since… I don't know, ever maybe. Perhaps it is because of the war, but you have switched off all your feelings. How could you understand me when I'm full of feelings? I need to feel, no matter what I'm doing. And all the emotions I've got move me. Yes! I am an artist. But everyone has that ability, that power even to feel, to embrace feelings… Everyone but you, it seems. I wish you could do the same. You think nobody can see through you but I can. Maybe you're not aware of the way you are. Maybe you're too broken. Maybe you don't want or don't have the person you need to be fixed. But I am not a fool, dad. And I'm not wrong. You are. Alright. Maybe it was a mistake to drink that much but I needed to shut off my emotions for a bit. Of course you can't get my point. You don't have any feelings."

These last words were shouted much louder than Albus expected, because of the alcohol. Harry was completely stunned. So stunned indeed that he didn't know how to react. Albus had always been the one of his children who looked like him the most. He had always been the closest one to him. But, what people ignored was that Albus was a much better version of himself. Someone so very clever he could see into his father without any trouble. And it was difficult for Harry to understand that. He was supposed to be the Savior, he was in fact just a warrior and as Albus had just said, he had shut down his emotions a long time ago. How was it possible that Albus was the one to give him a lesson? Harry didn't understand but it was definitely the case.

Harry finally stood up, his mind still blank by the shock. Albus was certain he had gone too far. But Harry's answer genuinely surprised him.

"I wish I could be like you, Albus, I won't deny it. But I would prefer you don't drink that much and not because you're underage but because it's obvious you were in pain tonight. Drinking isn't a solution. You are in pain for few days now. I don't know why. I wish you could tell me. I wish I could understand you. I'm gonna head back to the party now. You stay here. I want you in bed when I'll be back. And try to think about being less harsh and more subtle with others. It's not because you understand people so well, you should talk to them like you do."

Albus had just the time to whisper a sorry before Harry Apparated.

As he was coming into the bar, Harry was thoughtful. Albus' words had shaken him much more than he admitted, much more than he wished. And the thing was, he couldn't come back to these people, to his friends and coworkers like that, as if nothing had happened. Because something had happened. And as usual with Harry Potter, when he was aware of problems – even if they were his – he had to act to fix them.

He slowly walked to Ginny who was surrounding by her friends and whispered few words at her ear. She barely reacted. She was too in joy because of the party. James, on the other hand, had eyes only for him. Harry had been discreet but since his son was waiting for him to come back, he saw him immediately and didn't take his eyes off of him. James was maybe aware of his father's struggle. Anyway, his eyes were now begging his dad to let him leave the party and come back to his brother. With a quick nod, Harry allowed him to do what he wanted. Harry was already too far in thoughts, focus on what he needed to do… a complete idiotic idea.

That night, Harry made for the first time of his life since the war was over, a huge mistake. That night, Harry wasn't the only one to listen to his heart. That night, two mistakes with lots of consequences were put in motion. But, since they were coming from the heart, maybe these actions weren't mistake at all. It was just two actions meant to be.

Regarding Harry Potter, his mistake was to go straight to Malfoy's Manor, where he was sure to meet Draco. Once there, once he was authorized to come in – which had, by the way, happened a few times since the war – he walked toward Draco without thinking and without preamble, he punched his nemesis in the face. Once. Twice. A third time. And then he burst into tears as a bloody idiot.

As for Albus and James… their reunion was coming fast. As soon as his father allowed him to come home, James had Apparated immediately and he was now walking to Albus' studio, a little bit stressed but in a hurry nonetheless. As expected, Albus was smoking, thoughtful. But at the second when he saw James, he couldn't help but smile.

"What did you say to dad?" asked James. "He left the party just like that."

"He did?" repeated Albus, frowning and James nodded. "Did he tell you where he was going?"

"Obviously not at home but he didn't talked about somewhere else."

"I've maybe been a little bit harsh with him… I was angry for no reason… Well, that's not true. I didn't want us to be interrupted. And I was too drunk to think clearly."

"You're not anymore?"

"I took a potion so I can think properly but I'm still in the alcohol mood."

"Where did you get that potion?"

"I brewed it myself, obviously." Answered Albus with a smirk.

"So, what did you say to dad?"

"Something like he had no feelings so it was not a surprise that he couldn't understand me!" mumbled Albus.

"Albus!" exclaimed James. "How can you tell him that?"

"I know I'm a jerk sometimes. I just couldn't help myself."

"You said that as if it was true…"

"Well, he admitted it to me."

"He loves his family…"

"Of course, but you know what I meant!"

"Still, that's not a reason…"

"I know, but if you hadn't noticed, I'm a little bit edgy."

These words had the knack of stopping James in his criticism. Suddenly, the complexity of their situation knocked him out. He looked at Albus fiercely. He remembered why he was there and what he had told Al at the party. Albus seemed to know exactly what was happening in James' mind because the topic of the conversation changed in one second, as the atmosphere in the room.

"Go ahead, Jamie. I'm watching you…"

And James couldn't help but blush because he knew, he could see in Albus' eyes that behind the teasing remained a real desire.

"You're impossible sometimes, you know it?" mumbled James and he meant both his current behavior and the previous one with his dad.

Albus reaction was, as expected, to smirk. Merlin, that boy was such a Slytherin sometimes!

James turned his back to his brother because even if he had said he was ready, his heart was beating so fast because of what he was about to do, he thought he was going to die. Yes, he wanted it. Yes, he was very ready. Yet, he didn't want his brother to see how much he was eager to undress in front of him, to know the real effect he had on him. He began to take off his clothes slowly. Even if his eyes weren't set on his brother, he could tell that Albus had stopped breathing.

As he was walking to the nearby couch, he still hadn't turned around, he grabbed his wand, whispering a spell to help him not to be hard. Then, finally, he lied down on the divan, Albus' eyes on him. Al was biting his lower lips. He was almost panting and he couldn't help but close the distance between his brother and him. He took benefit of explaining to James what he wanted him to do to admire the view. They were both blushing and had lots of difficulties to restrain themselves. But they had a goal. At least, Albus had one. So after a while, he began to draw. And it happened at that very moment. Albus' look on James set the boy on fire. Despite the charm he had casted, he couldn't help but be a bit aroused. The atmosphere in the room tightened, becoming almost unbearable. James was hot. Albus didn't even know how he succeeded to keep drawing. He just wanted to kiss James on this couch, here and now. It would have been perfect. But for no real reason, they both chose to fight their urge. They just stared at each other, letting their eyes do the job, which was flirting with each other, talking with each other, desiring each other. And it was great. It felt right. Even if they both know they would need to release their tension once they would be all alone in their room…

… And that's exactly what they did. For Albus, it was already a habit. For James, it was a first. First time, he jerked off thinking of a boy… His brother for that matter. And he felt weird. Not in the wrong way though. It felt weird because it was actually perfect and it shouldn't have been. James got an orgasm so powerful he thought for a while he was going to cry or pass out. But that didn't happen. He just stared into space, looking at the ceiling with no other thought than Albus.


	2. Part 2

The next morning, the house was quiet when Albus woke up and it stayed that way until Harry finally got home at the end of the day. Albus and James had kept working in the attic even if James was more dressed than the day before. They didn't go to the public area of the house because they were too afraid to face Ginny. The woman had no idea where his husband was, Harry hadn't left a note. She only knew that he hadn't been at the party and that he didn't get back home. So, when he finally did, he was welcomed by the wrath more than the worry of his wife. Lily was in her room, as well as the boys now but each could perfectly hear the row which was happening in the living room. As he was lying in his bed, Albus felt quite bad about the all thing, he was after all a bit responsible. The moment he heard the screams of Ginny and the lack of answers from his father, he lighted a cigarette and smoked for what seemed like hour. That evening, they didn't share a family meal. Albus didn't eat at all. He couldn't see the face of any member of his family, even if the only one who knew what he had done was James. Hours later, when his stomach complained of hunger so loudly he couldn't help but hear only it, Albus decided to go downstairs. The house was quiet for a while now. But what he found in the living room definitely stopped his hunger. Harry was on the couch, staring into space, a glass of Firewhisky in his right hand and he didn't seem well at all. Soundlessly, Albus went back to his bedroom, even if he had now a furious urge to join his brother. He knew it wouldn't be a smart move. They hadn't talked at all with James that day. They still hadn't talked about the only thing they needed to talk about. And Albus was certain that if he went to James now, his brother would be more than uncomfortable. Even if he didn't know what he wanted exactly, he knew he had to 'play' James or more accurately handle him carefully and cleverly. So rather than scared the crap out of James or angered him, Albus tried to touch himself for a bit but his heart wasn't in it. So he gave up and grabbed some book to keep his mind up to something. Anything. Yet, his only thought was to wonder how the next day would be…

… Unfortunately for Albus – and not only for him – the next day looked alike the previous one. Harry and Ginny didn't interact much with each other except for fighting. Harry was out for the day, probably at 'work' and when he finally got home, Ginny was upset but Harry didn't give her any answer about his wandering. It was the same the day after that. And the day after that. Until the next Sunday came. Harry had been out the whole Saturday and Ginny still didn't know what was happening to his husband. When he decided to finally come home, she let her mind speak from the heart. That's when the name of Draco Malfoy first slipped out Harry's mouth. He was so angry and clearly lost to not understand how wrong he was to compare his wife to his former enemy or more accurately saying that there was no comparison left because Draco was obviously so much better to hang out with since he didn't yell at him and let him be the man he wanted to. It was the most awful fight they had this week and the house was almost shaking from the dispute. James, Albus and Lily definitely were. After days of ignoring their parents situation, Albus couldn't take it and he decided to talk with James right here and now. It wasn't a surprise for him that James stepped out in the room at that exact moment. Their eyes locked, sharing all their feelings in only one look. James didn't lose one second to close the distance between them, taking the other boy in his arm. It was so natural and felt so right, it was heartbreaking.

"This is all my fault" whispered Albus pretty quickly, his face buried into James' shoulder.

James didn't argue with that because it was true, he just patted his brother on the back. On the other hand, Albus didn't cry or sob or anything. Yes, he felt bad but he couldn't feel really sorry about what he had said to his father because it was true. Harry's reaction was just another proof.

At the beginning, their embrace was purely brotherly and only meant to sooth. But as the time flied, it began to heat. They both tightened their grip. Their body were so clutched, there was no inch of emptiness between them. Slowly, Albus' hands travelled to James' neck forcing them to stare at each other. Their heads move on their own accord. Fuck! They were close… That's the moment Lily chose to interrupt them. She was in tears. So rattled she didn't seem to notice or care about her brothers' posture. They spend the rest of the day together for some quality time and it was actually quite enjoyable. The house was calm for almost one hour when they finally left Albus' room where they had ended up and went upstairs. Harry was in the kitchen, making diner and Ginny was nowhere to be seen.

"Your mother needed some time alone so she went to a friend" he said straight away, as soon as he saw his children. "I've decided to take you on a week holiday, just the four of us, if you don't mind. So, we'll leave tomorrow morning. Ginny will be there to say you goodbye. We are both sorry for all the shouts, it won't happen again."

'At least not with you in the house' thought Harry. His children gave him a tentative smile to which he answered quickly. But it didn't reach his eyes and he could tell that Albus saw it perfectly.

"What outfit should we bring? Where will we go exactly?" asked James to lighten the mood as best as he could.

"I was thinking about the coast, Blackpool actually. I was thinking about finding a holiday home up there. I thought it was quite funny because of the reminder of Sirius' name."

It wasn't the only reason though, but Harry avoided telling that Draco had an estate right there. Bad Harry!

His children seemed quite happy with the thought anyway. They perfectly knew the geography of England to locate the seaside resort on the map. It was a great place to go, especially if the weather stayed clement as it had been for the last few days. They weren't that surprise nor disappointed by Ginny's absence. After all, it wasn't there first holiday without their mother. Beside, being only with their father was pretty cool. Harry was a great father when he wasn't surrounded by any other adult, when he wasn't suffocate by the excessive competence of his wife.

"I was thinking about going to a football game. I might have heard that Liverpool is having a friendly match on Saturday evening."

That thought cheered positively his children up. Even if Lily wasn't as fond of football as his brothers, she shared this Muggle interest anyway. It would be amazing to see a great team as Liverpool. Harry smiled to his kids, his first true smile of the week and after that they had diner in a peaceful atmosphere.

…

Blackpool was a nice city to spend holidays, especially now that the sun was shining in the sky. The Potter family spent all their day at beach, enjoying the weather and the sea. They met nice people. They ate at restaurant every day. They played lots of game together. In a nutshell, it was perfect.

Or at least it would have been for James, if he had managed to stop obsessing over his brother and all the looks he got when he was in swimming trunks. Who had invented such a tiny and fitted material anyway? He would have been naked, it would have been the same. No kidding, every girl and boy was drooling over Albus. Or he thought so. Maybe he was the only one drooling? No way! This boy who was talking to Albus right now was overly tactile, it was obvious he was interested by Al's ass more than his sentence. The worst thing was that Albus noticed it and he smiled deeply. James growled. Yes! He growled. He was fucking jealous. His sound made Lily turned to him, even if she was in a conversation with a newly friend:

"What happened to you?" she asked. "What's with the gloomy look?"

"Nothing. I've just a headache." Lied James.

"Then you should go in the shade for a bit. Sun isn't really a solution."

James shrugged but stood nonetheless. He found a nice spot a few seconds later. He was directly in Albus' field of vision and his brother smirked as soon as he noticed. Then, Albus did the last thing James wanted him to do, he leaned on the boy, whispering some things that made him laugh. But Al's eyes were fixed on James, full of desire and expectation from something James didn't know about.

It took James no time to head back to their vacation place. He was a bit sick of watching Albus flirting. Lily had decided to sleep over on that Friday night and Harry had some business to intend in the area. James figured Albus was probably spending the evening with all of his new friends so he turned on the television. It was funny because he was supposed to be the one who was surrounding by people. But he found no interest in it anymore. He was too much stressed to relax at a party. It occurred that the party came to him instead…

He was watching a movie for almost thirty minute when his brother arrived, his hands busy with beer cans. As usual, Albus was wearing a smirk and of course James couldn't help but frown.

"I suspected that you weren't in the mood to go out or received guests so I decided we should celebrate just the two of us…" said Albus as an answer.

"Celebrate what?" asked James, so intrigued by Al's behavior that he completely forgot his movie.

"Don't know, maybe the fact that you are so gorgeous that I want to shag you." Answered Albus with a deepened smirk.

"Have you already begun drinking?" inquired James, a small smile lingering on his lips and slight blushes on his cheeks. He knew the answer. After all, Albus was that overconfident only when he had alcohol in his veins.

"Maybe a little but don't worry I found more than enough for both of us to enjoy ourselves."

"You found?"

"Well, I made some acquaintances at the beach who were ready to give me addresses and tips."

"And how did you repay him? By spreading your leg?" said James angry.

Albus had the nerve to laugh.

"That's not funny!"

"Yes, it is. Well, you are. I'm sure Andy would have been happy to get a tour in me but I'm not that easy. Fuck, James! You have a bad opinion of me and you're not even drunk or stoned."

"Stoned?" asked James now with concern.

"I needed supply. I've been running a little low recently."

"On what exactly?"

"Weed, obviously. Nothing serious… And don't make that face. Aren't you supposed to be the more popular guy from the two of us? And that's what popular guy do, isn't it?"

"Well not me!"

"So I'm gonna teach you."

"You're sure about that?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Good, then I'll show you."

And on those words, Albus opened a small pack he had hidden on his pocket. James was wide-eyed, completely stunned, especially by Albus' casualness. He needed a drink. Now.

"By the way, where you really jealous about Andy?" asked Albus when James had swallowed one long gulp of beer.

James choked on his can and rolled his eyes at the same time. Albus was too good at that game!

"What do you think?" said James biting his lips. "Did you see the way he was looking at you? I know you flirted with him on purpose. I'm not that dumb, you know."

"I perfectly know you're not. But I've to be sure of what you want before doing something we could regret. Well, YOU could regret."

Suddenly, the discussion had taken a serious turn the two boys hadn't expected yet. It was too early for that. They weren't high enough to speak about something like that.

"I don't know what I want…" whispered James.

"But you were jealous, right?"

"Maybe."

"Fuck, James. You're so stubborn. I'm ready to tell you what I want but I need you to play your part in it."

"And what is it?"

"What? Your part?"

"No, what you want."

"Well, that's easy: you. I want you. I want you to be mine."

Albus' words were welcomed by only silence. James had closed his eyes and Al was clueless about the reason why.

"Let's smoke, shall we?" said James firmly when he finally set his eyes on Al.

"With pleasure." Whispered Albus because what could he say now? If James didn't want to speak about it, then so be it.

Albus handed a joint and light to James, and then lighted his own. James mimicked his gesture at the beginning but when the moment to really smoke came, he stared at Albus with a bit of naivety.

"How do I do it?" asked James because it was obvious that Albus wasn't going to speak first.

"Suck it as if it was a cock" smirked Albus.

"Well I don't know either how to do that!"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out… But I still can teach you, gladly."

"I'd love that" whispered James after another shot.

"Sure about that?" asked Albus, frowning.

"Yes, and that's my problem."

"How is that a problem?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Al. I just want to get drunk and high!"

Albus smirked but the only spark in his eyes was sadness.

Few hours later, Albus had finally decided that he wanted to dance so he had put some good stuff thanks to his IPod. Magic and Technology worked now together and it was for the best. With his lascivious move, it seemed that Albus was putting a show for James' eyes only. He was moving his body, his eyes buried on James' own. And of course, it took nothing else for James to get a hard-on. A strong one. He was so aroused and even more when Albus butt was almost twerking like that. James was all flushed and had difficulties to refrain himself. Then, the worst happened because Albus began to move closer to him and it didn't take long for him to understand what was happening to James. Not that it was difficult anyway. He was glowing and drooling over Albus.

"Enjoying the view!" exclaimed Albus after a last spin.

"Very much indeed." Answered James, a smile on his lips and a strange spark in his unsettled eyes.

"Then go ahead, indulge yourself."

If he hadn't been completely high, James would have probably blushed at that comment. But, at that instant, he wasn't thinking clearly. In fact, he wasn't thinking at all and it felt good. Albus had been right about that. So, he unbuttoned his pant and slipped his hand in his boxer then he began to stroke his cock. Slowly at first, his eyes locked on Albus. But, as Albus' breath began to be more and more erratic even if he was doing nothing but watch, James' speed increased until he reached an orgasm so powerful he couldn't remember why he hadn't done that under Albus' gaze yet. Albus was now biting his lips and he passed slightly his hand on his crotch. Maybe it was because of his foggy mind but James knew Albus had climaxed just by observing him jerking off. And it felt good, and right and a huge power run through his veins. There was such an intensity between them. Deep down, in a small part of his brain, he knew he shouldn't have felt that way but for now he couldn't care less.

After a few "fuck" whispered by both of the brothers, they finally decided to call it a night. James was ready to sleep right now and there on the couch but Albus led him to his bed. If his father saw him that way, he wouldn't be very happy. He helped James undressing, looking at the few stains of cum on his brother lower stomach. If he had been as high as James, Al would have probably licked it but he knew he had to restrain himself. He would much prefer that James offer him to do it. And James was definitely not in the good brain state to ask such a thing. Well, to ask maybe, to mean it probably, but to not regret it the day after, absolutely not. So Albus allowed himself just to kiss James' forehead, the older boy was already snoring. Albus returned to the living room after that and tidied all of their mess. As he was doing so, he thought he hadn't cleaned James' body but it was after all a good idea. James needed to remember what he had allowed himself to do when he was under the influence.

The next morning, as expected by Albus, James did as if nothing had happened at all but the few blushes he gave were enough for him to know that he remembered quite well. Albus couldn't help but laugh or at least smile widely because of James' attempts to hide his hangover. His brother hadn't been that pissed since… well, ever and it was also the first time that he had smoked so he wasn't really in a good shape. After breakfast, Al took finally pity on him and forget his brother's ignorance to give him a shot of his favorite potion, at least the one he used the most. James was very glad about it and relief that Albus forgave him his attitude. He wasn't ready to deal with his desires and needs yet… but he knew he needed to keep his brother as his best friend, no matter what was happening between them. So, when Albus acted all day long and especially during the match of football as if everything was good, James allowed himself to relax and enjoy. Maybe he shouldn't have because that night as he was lying in his bed, James understood that his best moments of the day were when Albus was near him. His brother was making him happy, completely happy and it shouldn't have been that way, should it?

…

After one last day, their holidays on the coast were finished. But rather than coming back to their home, the Potters minus Ginny went to the Weasleys – where she already was. After all, July 31st was the date of Harry's birthday. The whole family was reunited for the event and despite everything that could have gone wrong, nothing really bad happened. During the day, that is. Harry and Ginny barely spoke to each other but they found the excuse that there was so much to do and so many people to speak to. Nobody said anything. And it was probably for the best.

Ginny was happy to meet his children again. She had never liked to be away from them, even if that happened more often that she wanted to. But now that she was uneasy about her own marriage, she understood she needed to keep them close. Family was everything after all.

The party lasted not that late in the night, for the simple reason that Harry excused himself just before midday. He told everybody he was tired because of the several Apparitions of his day. So he retired into his bedroom. The king of the day being not there anymore, the party went on for another hour before they all called it a night. Albus and James had been quite wise, both for the same reason. After what had happened as they were pissed, they didn't want their family to be the witness of anything that could have been awkward. For them anyway.

The house was quite crowded and even if the Weasley had extended their estate over the years, they all had to share the room at least with another person. It wasn't a surprise that James and Albus had to share a bed. It wasn't a surprise but it was still a shock. Of course, they didn't say anything to anyone. After all, they always slept together when there was family feast. Anyway, they were both in a hurry to discover what could possibly happen as they would be alone in the dark, in bed, sharing the sheets…

They didn't need too many time to discover it though. As soon as the door of the room was closed, they stared at each other, suddenly very aware of their proximity - the new rooms of Weasley's Mansion weren't really big.

"What side do you want?" asked James to break the silence.

Albus couldn't help but bit his lips. Really, James!

"What?" asked the aforesaid boy who obviously didn't get it.

"It depends on what do you speak about!" answered Albus with a smirk, rising his brows at the same time.

James' eyes went wider.

"Albus!" he exclaimed with a blush. He couldn't help but smile anyway before he whispered. "And what side would it be?"

Then he turned around and began to strip.

"Any way possible" said Albus, his tone of voice serious and confident.

Then he turned to the window and lighted a cigarette. He watched James who only wore his boxers now stepping under the sheets. He was looking at James' eyes, the nicotine worming itself in his body, giving him strength and a strong desire. That was the moment James chose to slip his hand under the cover and its destination was so obvious for Albus, he let go of his fag and turned out the light with only one move. The curtains were still opened so James could observe his brother undressing. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Albus' torso. But it was nothing compared to Al's cock: it wasn't just a beat that his heart skip, but its entire rhythm. James could have stopped everything at that instant but he didn't. He couldn't put that on the booze only on his will. When he lifted up the cover, he knew what was going to happen. And yet, he wasn't ready to listen to his heart completely. Albus must have been a mind reader because, as usual, he understood everything even better than James did and without James to say it out loud. That night, Albus didn't kiss James. No, it was only desire. Urge. Lust. He lowered James' boxer at the second when he was on the bed, and he began stroking him… So slowly, James had to move forward just to get more friction. That simple gesture made Albus laugh a bit. But he wanted this to last for an eternity. So he pushed on James hips to keep him still. When he saw it wasn't doing any good, he just straddled his brother. At that instant, James lost his heart, his brain, his sanity. He was nothing anymore, except Albus' touches. And moans. Lots of them. From both of them. Albus finally stopped teasing because he couldn't take much and he did the only thing he wanted at that moment: he joined their two cocks in his hands. Fuck! That was too good… Much too good. Maybe they should have died at that time, it would have been perfect…

… But they didn't. So when the sun raised on the next morning, they had to face their actions. As James seemed to be used to, his behavior was to act as if nothing had happened. It was silly to think that everything could be forgotten like that. James knew it but he couldn't help it. As for Albus, he was glad he hadn't kissed James the day before, he wouldn't have been able to handle James' purposely ignorance and rejection. But on that day, it was still too much to handle. He didn't want to stay at the Weasleys for one week with James acting that way. It was so annoying that his parents were supposed to take benefit of the absence of their children to stay together.

Albus was there in his thought when the screams began. The Burrow was far from being soundproof so everybody in an area of … maybe one mile, heard every single word of Ginny and Harry.

"I'm glad you finally came back…" The voice was full of irony. "So, Harry, you were too tired because of the Apparitions… You think anybody buy it, from you the great Harry Potter who is so powerful! You're such a liar."

"Well, I obviously couldn't tell you what I was doing and who I was going to see. You would have freaked out."

"So, you're not going to deny it at all!"

"What would be the point, Ginny? It was my birthday. I'm a grown-up. I can do what I want."

"People expect you to behave. I, as your wife, expect you to behave. And still you went to see Malfoy. Malfoy of all person."

"Don't call him that way. He has a first name too."

"And that's what disturb you in my sentence!"

"I'm tired of that discussion, Ginny. You can't prevent me to do what I want."

"Which is what, by the way? I don't know… You spent a whole night with him, again. So I wonder… What do you find so appealing with _Draco_?"

"The fact that he is so different from you, maybe!" almost yelled Harry and yet his voice was steady.

The rest of the conversation must have been whispered or pronounced in a voice much lower but one hour later, it was decided that Harry would come back home without Ginny, who would stay with his parents and children. As Harry was stepping out of the house to Apparate, his hand full of luggage, Albus came to him and told him he was returning to their home. James was in the doorway when he heard the words of his brother and he was stunned. He couldn't believe it. Harry seemed also surprised but he didn't object. He was quite happy by Albus' presence after all. After a last wave, they were gone and James couldn't believe he just have pushed his brother away… because it was what it had done, right?

…

One week was all it took for James and Albus to feel withdrawal symptoms. Even if none of them would have admitted it. Albus had spent his week between drawing and smoking while James had been mourning over his brother but he did his best to hide it and spent a huge amount of time talking to Teddy. The week was great but not as good as it could have been. James was obsessing again and he couldn't wait to see his brother. The night before their Sunday meal, James was having difficulties to fall asleep. Finally, Albus would be there the day after. Finally, he was going to … Well, he didn't know what he was going to do with Albus but he just wanted to be near him, close to him. He wanted to feel him. He wanted to be as happy and good as he had been the night before Albus' departure but he didn't know where that put him exactly… But he couldn't wait to find out.

That is why James was quite angry when lunch finally came. Harry and Albus were nowhere to be seen. In fact, Harry had advised Ginny that he wasn't ready to have another fight with her in front of her family so they had decided with Albus to stay together.

James wasn't able to get over it. He hadn't imagined he wanted to see Albus that much. And now he was completely disappointed. He almost wanted to cry. For sure, he wanted to avoid their family lunch… But it wasn't a possibility.

Unfortunately, the meal lasted for a very long time. And he didn't even eat. He didn't talk to anyone. His mind was elsewhere. And his cousins began to see it. Even if he just kept saying that he was alright, it was far from being true. They suspected he was stressed for an obscure reason. James, for the real first time of his life, wanted to smoke just because the smell could remind him of his brother. So he stood up with Teddy between the main course and the dessert, it was 5.30pm. They went under one of the tree, far from the garden table. Then, James lighted one cigarette Teddy had just given him, his 'cousin' doing the same. His first drag was divine. Teddy smoked the same brand than Albus; James got the feeling he had Al in his mouth and it was perfect. He gave out a deep breath and closed his eyes at the same time, picturing his brother. Fuck, it felt good and a bit tight in his pant now. James was glad that Teddy remained silent, he always knew what to do: probably a quality he had taken from both his parents. They returned to the meal a while after and James made an effort to eat some dessert. He had made a decision: he was coming home as soon as possible.

…

It was almost 7.30pm and Albus was in the living room. Harry had left less than one hour earlier. At first, he didn't want to leave Albus alone but his son had encouraged him, telling him to enjoy his evening. Harry had smiled, as if Albus already knew where he was going. Harry did finally agree so here he was now. All alone in front of the TV, a cigarette in his mouth. He knew he shouldn't have been smoking in the public area of the house but he had quickly forgotten his hesitation. After all, Ginny wasn't going to come back anytime soon.

He couldn't say he was getting bored. Albus was the type of guy who enjoyed loneliness but since he had begun to fantasize about his brother, he always felt like something was missing in his life when he was alone. That made him think: why James had such an influence on him? Right, he was attracted to the guy but was it more than that? Maybe. Albus didn't know if he wanted to find out… Especially if the feeling wasn't mutual. And since he hadn't received any news from James, maybe his brother had really forgotten about the whole thing. Such a bad luck. Albus had never been in love before. Attracted yes, but not in love… And it had to be with James? Sometimes, he wished he wasn't an artist or clever for that matter. Maybe he would have gotten a peaceful life, a normal life. Not that it was really what he wanted deep down…

Albus had completely lost track of the time, so when he heard the opening of the front door, he couldn't help but frown. Because of the wards, he knew that it wasn't an enemy, obviously someone of the family but still who was it? Did he have spent all his night on the couch smoking? Was it Harry already? A look on the clock proved him it wasn't possible. So he stood up, curious about the identity of the intruder. He walked to the entrance hall and was immediately stunned by the sight of his brother, a cigarette in his mouth.

The boys locked their eyes together and forgot everything. Most of all, the reason of their need to smoke. Because another need came to their minds, to their hearts. A need much more powerful. James walked to Albus, almost run but at the same time it was too slow.

Then, finally, their lips met. Some people says that the first kiss in a relationship is fundamental, that when it's with the bad person, it feels almost gross while when it's with the good person, it is like a firework. For Albus and James, it was more like an atomic bomb. First, there was a pause. Then, an explosion. Next, the raising of energy. And finally, a devastating wave. It was powerful. It sucked all the air, all the energy, all the life in their area. There was only silence around them but in the eye of the cyclone, they were surrounding by sounds as moaning, sucking, licking, hearts' beating. Their kiss destroyed everything they knew about them, about family, about love, about morality, about normality. It wasn't about perfection, about love at first sight or love at first kiss! It was beyond that. It was about pure feeling. They were only feeling. And nothing could have been more powerful. Nothing could have devastated their life more than that kiss. As the A Bomb, there was no recovery. There was no future beyond that kiss, no possibility… Only the relapse of another explosion.


	3. Part 3

As the first walk on a field hit by a bomb, the awaking of the two boys was uneasy, almost religious in a way, but full with contentious emotions. Albus and James were lying side by side on James' bed. They hadn't gone further than a kiss, a multiplication of kisses anyway. But they had both lost almost all their clothes in the process. Albus was the first one to wake up, a thoughtful look on his face. There should have been a huge grin on his lips but he was expected the other side of the coin, the side effects of the bomb.

And he was right. Because the first thing James said when he woke up was "Fuck" and his first move was to cover his eyes. A shameful gesture. Then, after a long while, he turned to Albus, never looking in his eyes.

"It was a mistake." He said in a voice just above a whisper.

Albus rolled his eyes and then focused them on James. He moved his hand to James' chin and forced him to look at him.

"Once, it can be a mistake. Twice, it's only you trying to bury your head in the sand."

Then he let go of James and stood up, absolutely not ashamed of his outfit – or his lack of outfit. He went to the window, opened it and began to smoke. And he stayed quiet.

James had expected anything but silence and that's what made him so uneasy. Because, in fact, he wanted Albus to fight him or fight for him, to prove him he wanted it, that it wasn't just a casual thing. James wanted to be reassured about Albus' love for him, even if he was still in denial… It was bad but not as much as Albus' next sentence:

"So are you going to move or what? I need you in my studio as soon as possible, as naked as possible!"

And then he was gone. James felt blush on his cheek but anger boiling in his body. Was Albus trying to make him react? Why was he acting like a jerk? Was he really indifferent? Did that mean nothing to him? James felt sick to be so weak in front of his brother. Albus was younger than him. He should have been the one in charge. He wasn't a bloody girl. Albus would be the one dominated, the one pinned on the bed, the one who spread his legs for him! Merlin! What was he thinking now?

Without another thought, James jumped in the shower and took a long cold one. Enough to make him forget his devious thoughts… He didn't even feel dirty by their night. 'Sirius Black, out of my body!'

James met Albus in the studio, as foretold and after that began a very awkward session of drawing/posing. As usual, Albus was silent but he was avoiding James' eyes quite obviously, which made James more and more uncomfortable and sad. He had the sensation that Albus was slipping through his fingers, as if his brother wanted to be as far as possible from him. Emotionally speaking, of course. James couldn't accept that. Yet, he didn't do a thing.

And they stayed like that for a few days: Albus showing he was perfectly cool with James' attitude even if he was smoking more than a pack per day now and James growing depressed the more Albus was ignoring him. They were both denying each other their true feelings and it felt really wrong, especially because they were still spending all their time together. Ginny and Lily hadn't come back and Harry was away too often to stay unnoticed.

Things could have stayed that way for a long time if both of the boy had chosen to be so stubborn. But luckily their desire to be together, to feel again, was strong enough to make them move. That and the fact that two important events were coming fast. The second one happened on Sunday, the 13th of August and it concerned only James.

The first one happened the day before, as in the 12th, date of Albus' birthday.

With the intent of putting his family together, Ginny had decided they would celebrate Albus' seventeen party at home with only the five of them. It didn't bother Albus at all. The fact that he was too buried in his own problems was probably the reason why but if his mother wanted to believe that his family was still in one piece, so be it.

The reunion between Harry and Ginny was awfully awkward but they got along with it, making lots of efforts because both wanted for Albus to have a perfect day. They didn't understand their son at all. That was sad. They did some nice stuffs together though and they were all almost enjoying their day. Albus received presents he was happy for but nothing was that exciting anyway. It get interesting though when a certain blond decided to show up. Yes, that got really interesting.

They had just finished to eat when the Floo of Harry's office made the characteristic noise of a visitor. Harry excused himself but it was obvious that he knew who it was. The half-smile that lingered on his lips was a proof. After only two minutes, Ginny couldn't help but get angry for no actual reason. When the face of Draco Malfoy appeared in the doorway though, Ginny had more than one excuse to explode. Unfortunately, Draco's attitude prevented her to go straight to the point.

Draco waved a hello to James, Albus and Lily and after a smile to the party boy, he gave Albus his present.

"Scorpius helped me with this!" simply said the blond.

Then he walked to Harry again. Albus was already smiling because he knew that whatever Scorpius had gotten him, it was something he would cherish. He wasn't his best friend for nothing. When he opened the gift, a complete set for the perfect artist, his smile turned to a huge grin. And yet, it was nothing compared to the one Harry was wearing right now. Albus thought briefly that his father was really silly to have such a smile in front of his mother when she was definitely not the one behind it. But he waved it off easily until Ginny's anger began to burst.

"What is he doing here?" she exclaimed in a voice as hurt as angry.

Of course, she was hurt. She had specifically told Harry she wanted nobody there today.

"Ginny, please. Don't make a scene. Draco just wanted to give Albus his present by hand."

"Just wanted to… You make me laugh! Do you really believe…"

"The living room, now!" yelled Harry before whispering to the blond. "Draco, come along."

The smirk Draco gave him additionally to the "I told you so" was more than Ginny could take and so she prevented Harry to put some good silencing spell on their room, allowing their children to hear everything. As soon as Ginny's voice raised again, Lily left the kitchen, ready to put some good music in her ears. It was too difficult to hear her mother's screams.

"I can't believe you did that, Harry!" said Ginny. "I told you I didn't want anyone near the house today. I thought it was obvious that I meant him more than anyone else."

"You were the one to decide, Ginny. I never agreed to be treated as your child. I can make my own decision. I didn't mind Draco being here."

"You didn't mind?" Ginny said ironically.

"I wanted Draco here, alright. He is my friend."

"Your friend?" spat Ginny in a Slytherin tone.

"I told you I shouldn't have come." Said Draco at the same time.

He should have closed his mouth too. But it was done on purpose. Draco was the true Slytherin here and he knew what he wanted. For once, not to be forgotten in a domestic quarrel.

"Nobody asked you to open your disgusted mouth!" exclaimed Ginny, hatred in her eyes.

"Don't talk to him like that" said Harry and he moved closer to Draco in a protective gesture. "I won't allow it."

"And just so you know" spoke Draco "Harry doesn't think my mouth is disgusted."

Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes to Draco, except there was a spark of amusement in them and then he looked even briefly to Draco's lips and bit his lower one: all of that under Ginny's gaze. Silly man.

"You stay away from my husband. I swear to you Malfoy, if you try to … do anything to him, I will kill you!"

Ginny's finger was pointed towards Draco in an obvious menacing gesture. But Draco wasn't afraid. Wasn't afraid at all.

"I don't have to try anything, you know. I just have to wait for you to make him even unhappier. And frankly, look at you and me, are you really that surprises that he prefers me?"

It was enough for James who finally left the kitchen, a last look to Albus who was listening carefully to what was happening in the living.

"Draco…" whispered Harry, a forgotten hand on the blond hips.

"Don't let her talk to you like that!" he answered before he leant to Harry and gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth. "I'll see you later, gorgeous."

And then he left by Floo before Ginny could do anything to him. Immediately, Ginny turned to Harry, flashes in her eyes.

"So what did he mean by you don't think his mouth is disgusted? I'd like to know, Harry."

"Nothing. He meant nothing."

"Don't lie to me!" she yelled.

"Alright… I was going to tell you eventually. We might have kissed." Harry mumbled.

"You might have? That's a funny way to say it… How many time did it happen?"

"Once…"

"Just once?" asked Ginny doubtful.

"Let's say once for real…"

"What does that even mean?"

"I'm not gonna explain that do you. Merlin! It's already embarrassing."

"Well, you're the one who cheated on me… So, did you enjoy it?"

"I won't discuss that matter with you."

"Well if you don't do it with your wife, with whom then?"

Harry didn't answer to that either, he just looked at his feet.

"Malfoy then… What a wise choice, Harry. Merlin! Can't you see he doesn't love you? He just want to play with you! He has always been your enemy and that will never change. And if you think otherwise, then you're more stupid than I thought. You're going to destroy your family just for him?"

"I…I've no intent to destroy our family. It kind of happened, that's all."

"And you think I'm gonna live with you making out with Malfoy and much more if the look he gave you was real. It's obvious he wants more than just kissing you. So you're gonna figure out what you want but I won't stay passive, just waiting that your identity crisis goes away."

And before Harry could react to Ginny's words, his wife was gone.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" whispered Harry, burying his head in his hands.

"Such an awful word…" said Albus as he stepped into the room.

Immediately, Harry raised his head and stared at his son, stunned.

"You heard?" asked Harry.

"Every single word."

"I'm sorry, Al. I'm so sorry about that."

"You shouldn't be."

"What? Why?"

"Because I don't care about the whole "happy family" act you try to put on with mum. That wasn't my wish for my birthday. I want you to be happy. I want us all to be happy but not necessarily in a common way. Most of all, dad, I want you to be able to feel. And I'm sure that if you listen to your heart, you'll know what to do!"

"But Albus, I'm not only a man… I'm also a father. I have responsibilities."

"You're wrong, dad. This isn't your responsibility to give up on yourself just for us. You have the responsibility to be happy. That's the only way we can be too. People who really love you would see that. They won't judge you, I can promise you. But you have to figure out by yourself what there is in your heart. Do you think you can do that?"

"I… I don't know. I don't even know how you can know all of this. I don't know what to do. I'm lost."

"What do you feel right now, dad? What do you want?" asked Albus, coming closer to his dad, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"I can't tell you that…" whispered Harry, uneasy.

"Tell me!" exclaimed Albus with a bossy tone that make Harry laugh.

"I want to see him…"

"Then do that. If your heart tell you he is the only one who can help you figuring out your true feelings, then it's the truth."

Harry looked at his son, an awkward feeling in the pit of his stomach. How could he tell him that? His own son! He seemed to know more about love and life than himself. It was disturbing. But in a way, that reassured him. So, Harry stood up and Albus gave him an encouraging smile. Then he left, as easy as it was.

After that, Albus took a minute to understand what he had done. Maybe it was a mistake but something told him that if an act was motivating by love, it was inevitably good. And he was right. Harry deserved to be truly happy. More than anyone. But the path he had showed to his father wasn't an easy one. Harry knew it. He knew it. He was in love with his own brother after all… Albus smiled at that thought. Finally, he was able to say it in his head. Maybe things were going to be easier.

With that happy thought, Albus walked to his bedroom. He turned out the light as he was closing the door and just when he turned around, he was welcomed by the sight of his bare-chested brother under his cover.

"Best sight ever!" said Albus in a revering tone. "Best gift ever."

James smiled shyly to his brother as Albus was walking to him. Albus stroked his cheek slowly and James almost purred. Yes, like a bloody cat.

"What do you want?" whispered Albus in his ear, making James shiver deeply.

"I don't know. I don't know what we're doing here. But it was just unbearable to me to be away from you tonight. I just want to lie down with you, Al. I need it."

Albus smiled to his brother as he was stripping to his boxer and James' heart stopped. Then Albus stepped under the sheet and immediately James took him in his arms. He just couldn't help it. Their hearts were beating in unison. It was magic. And from the mouth of wizards, it was something to say.

Albus' hand returned to James' face and he began to touch, to stroke every part of his brother's bust he could reach. James was in fire and couldn't help but lean to the touch. He wanted so much more. And Albus seemed to understand him because he asked:

"What do you want, James? What do you want me to do, now?"

James bit his lips. He couldn't say it out loud, right?

But after minutes of torture, that is if being in heaven was a torture, he just blurt out in a whisper:

"Kiss me."

And Albus obliged, willingly. Again, their bodies were hit by the A bomb. Except this time, they didn't prevent their kisses to deepen to something much more sexual. Albus wanted a special gift. It was his birthday after all.

They lost, almost at the same time, their boxers and loud moans began to fill the room. Albus took benefit of this moment to cast a spell on his bedroom, locking the door and preventing any noise to filter in one move. Then he resumed his previous activity and this time he lowered his mouth on James' chest. He sucked his nipples but not for long because another spot of James' body was begging for his attentions. Did James know what he was going to do? Absolutely! Because when he stopped on his navel to throw his tongue in it, James put his hand on his head and pushed him much lower. Albus smiled widely, breathing on James' crotch heavily. Yes, brother, I know what you want and I'm gonna give you exactly what you need!

If their first kiss was compared with the atomic bomb then James' first blow job should be compared to death. His heart literally stopped for an entire minute. He lost all his senses in the process. He lost what made him James Sirius Potter. He lost what made him Albus' brother. Everything, every emotion he had ever experienced, every memory he had, were simply shut down. He was nothing anymore…

But then, his eyes found Albus. His brother was looking at him, was enjoying so much what he was doing, it was again breathtaking. He was going to die a second time. So James grasped the sheets and hold onto them, just to stay alive. And when he thought he couldn't take more, when he thought that his heart was going to explode, to fall apart, to be destroyed, then he came in Albus' mouth. He came for what seemed to be hours. And Albus was swallowing every damn drop of his cum, as if it was pure ecstasy. Wasn't he supposed to be the only one to enjoy a blow job? A priori, that was just a common preconception. James could see in Albus' eyes that he was climaxing. And again, James was stunned by his own ability to make Albus come without doing anything. It was transcendent. His heart had already exploded too many time for one night but when Albus kissed him again, his taste on Al's tongue was all it take to rip his heart from his chest and it was beyond perfection. Before Albus, James had never thought he could enjoy something like that. The few girlfriend he had gotten, had been repulsed either to suck him off either to swallow. And despite his several hand job, he had never tasted himself. He was too afraid. That was silly. But with Albus, he wasn't afraid anymore. He didn't mind to be gay or straight or bi anymore… All he knew was that Albus was his brother and he knew what was good for him. And he knew what was good for Albus, if only he let this part of himself be expressed.

…

Their waking was different from the other days. This time, James didn't say it had been a mistake. He said nothing at all. That was an improvement. In fact, he took Albus in his arms and hold him so tightly that he made some good marks on Al's body. But his brother didn't mind because he knew what was going on in James' mind and he felt happy about it. In a way. The thing was, in eight hours now, James was going to leave the house for two weeks. James had a training course for a Chaser position with the London Griffins team. Being professional was all James wanted so when the team had offered him to pass a test, he had immediately agreed. He couldn't see him doing anything else than flying after all. The fact that the course happened just at that moment was a bit annoying but it would do some good for James to be alone to think. He could clear his mind finally and see concretely what he wanted to do with his life. But still he didn't really want to let go of Albus. Two weeks without him would be awful, he already knew that. That's why he kept hugging him tightly.

When the time came to leave the house, few hours later, James was a little bit distressed. He wanted to take Albus in his arm. No, he wanted to kiss him but unfortunately the whole family was there. So he settled for a long hug in which he tried to show all his love for his brother. Albus was wearing a smile even if James could say he had only one desire now, which was smoking. Albus leaned closer to James and whispered words which would stay in his brother's mind for the next weeks:

"Enjoy your time away to figure out what you want. I'll be there waiting for your answer."

Again, James wanted to kiss Albus. Damned this boy. He made his life a living hell… And a paradise at the same time. James had no good reason to stay in Al's arms after that so he bid his farewell to his family and finally took the Floo.

…

The two weeks of James' absence seemed to pass in a heartbeat for Albus. He was painting frenetically. The thing was, the night before James' departure, he had seen on his brother's face all the emotions he wanted to put in his painting. He knew exactly what he wanted now.

It happened that James was having the same epiphany. On Monday, Albus received the first owl in a long series from his brother.

"_My dear Albus,_

_It seems that words are easier to write than say out loud. We've been apart from only few hours now but I already miss you as if I was lacking of oxygen. It's going to be really difficult without you here. And it makes me think… How am I going to survive when you'll start school on September? I know I'm being selfish because I haven't answered to your question yet. I keep my deep thoughts for when we'll be together again anyway… It's better that way. We need to clarify everything between us, that's sure._

_On a less dramatic note, let me tell you that I definitely find what I want to do as a career. The London team is great as you already know. But what you don't know, what I shouldn't write to you, is that we're using the fields of an old rugby team of West London. That explains our name. The stadium is not huge but the place is quite. It's in Osterley. Of course, the Muggles ignore everything but sharing the place is a good idea I think. I know it's not football but still it's quite something to watch. Our locker rooms are hidden from the Muggles but they don't come really often. There are some wards and spells to prevent them to see the ring goals and to see us flying. But it's great. I hope I'm going to be selected. I hope you're gonna be proud of me._

_Yours,_

_James."_

Albus had been ecstatic after the reception of the first letter and that put him in a good mood to draw. They had exchanged letters after that without really talking about the deep thoughts as James had told him. Well, Albus was giving all he got to seduce James and that was working. James was right, there were things easier to write. Albus didn't need to be drunk to be talkative. He kind of like a lot that new exchange of them.

…

On Sunday, the 27th of August, Albus was completely excited. It was already 14pm. He had been awake since 6 in the morning but hadn't been able to eat, drink, draw or even smoke since then. He was watching the street from the attic. It was easier for him to be away from his family because he didn't want them to notice anything unusual. And that was right. His behavior was more than unusual. He was smiling for no reason. He was taping his fingers on the window. The thing was: James was coming home today and he was in a hurry to see him.

14.01

14.02

14.03

What was James doing? He was supposed to arrive 3 minutes ago. Albus couldn't help but bit his lips. The waiting was killing him. Literally killing him. He could feel his heart beating pretty fast. Maybe was he going to have a heart attack? If James didn't show in the next seconds, he was going to be heartbroken, that's for sure.

Luckily, his brother must have heard him because at that very second, he saw the silhouette, freshly Apparated of James in their courtyard. Immediately, Albus left his spot and rushed in the stairs. It wasn't really common for him to do that but what the hell? He couldn't care less. He was going to finally see James again. After two fucking weeks and more than fifteen letters.

Albus opened the door before his brother could knock on it and instantly James fell in his arms. Finally, they were completely again. If James hadn't been able to find an answer to Al's question before, now was the time to find all the clues he needed. But James already knew what he wanted and that's exactly what he whispered in Al's ear before any other member of their family arrived:

"I want you, Albus. All of you and I don't care about what that means. I know I'm happy only when I'm with you…"

If Albus was smiling before, now he had a huge grin on his lips. He looked like a mad man.

"You're scaring me, Al'" said James, trying to suppress his laugh.

"Fuck you, man. You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say something like that!"

"As long as I've waited…"

The two boys looked at each other; at that instant they could have kissed, forgetting where they were, forgetting everything. Fortunately, Harry arrived with Ginny and Lily on his heels. Albus and James finally left each other arms and after, that things went back to normal… By all appearances anyway.

The Potter family spent all their afternoon together, catching up for the most. James had a lot to talk about. Since he already knew what his brother was saying, Albus listened absent-mindedly. He was looking at James, desire barely hidden in his eyes. Sometimes, their eyes met and James had to do his best not to blush. When they were finally sat down at the table, ready to eat, James acknowledged his parents that he felt pretty confident about joining the team. His course had been really great and without being pretentious he believed he was the best. On that comment, Albus couldn't help but smirk. James saw it even if they were sat side by side. James' answer was to move his hand to Al's thigh and squeeze it tightly, making Albus suppress a moan. Take it, baby bro.

The extended meal was a true torture for the brothers but luckily James found a way-out thanks to his 'huge tiredness' and his need to unpack all his stuffs. As a good brother, Albus offered his help. Both Harry and Ginny couldn't help but think that it was great to see their two sons having such a nice relationship.

When they finally came into James' room, Albus locked the door behind them. He was immediately assailed by James' lips. Albus opened his mouth, allowing James to slip his tongue in it. Then began ten minutes of pure nirvana. It's amazing to see how long you can hold your breath when you really want it. But after a while, you still need oxygen. James and Albus weren't the exception.

"I do have to unpack, you know…" said James after a whole minute of staring and catching his breath. "Besides, I might have a present for you…"

That took Al's attention.

"Really?" he frowned.

"I asked the team manager if I could have a Jersey shirt of the team and he allowed me to take one. So I asked each player to sign it and here it is…"

Albus was wide-eyed. James had told him everything that had happened during his training but obviously he had forgotten the good stuff. Albus looked at the Jersey still in silence. He was very happy. Without saying anything, he began undressing. This time, it was James' turn to be stunned.

"Merlin! Albus. What are you doing?"

"Just trying your gift." Answered Al with a smirk.

"And you have to take off your pant to do that…"

"Well, you don't want to see me ONLY with the Jersey."

"I'd love to but not now… Let's wait until dad and mum go to bed."

"We'll have to wait very long then… Dad doesn't sleep at home anymore."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think it's over between him and mum."

James nodded but didn't answer. He was suddenly very thoughtful.

"I shouldn't have mentioned it. I know it's my fault."

James came closer to his brother and took him in his arms, forgetting about the outfit.

"This is not your fault. They are grown-ups, they do what they want. And we are grown-ups too, so we can do what we want too."

"I like the sound of that."

"So do I."

And then they kissed again and it was brilliant. The kiss heated pretty fast, leaving two very-aroused boys panting.

"I'm not going to unpack tonight…" sighed James. "And I still have a shower to take…"

"Go get it!" exclaimed Albus. "I'll take care of your luggage, if you don't mind."

James leaned on Albus to kiss him on the cheek lightly. Then he whispered a "thank you" before leaving the room. Albus took off his wand and slowly began to tidy everything. That was so easy. His wand was doing all the job. When it was done, he lied on his brother's bed and smoked his first cigarette of the day. He couldn't believe he was there. He couldn't believe what was about to happen that night. He knew what he wanted but maybe it was too early… He had to know if James was sincere when he had said he wanted all of him.

James came back in his bedroom, only a towel on his hips. Albus' eyes were immediately full of lust. He had his answer…

"You still haven't lost this attitude…" began James.

Of course, Albus rolled his eyes.

"Says the guy who was smoking only to have a taste of me. Besides, that gives me a sense of déjà vu."

James smiled.

"You're right. It would be counter-productive to get back to this fateful evening."

Albus couldn't help but laugh this time. James was overdramatic on purpose.

"I have to say though… You play me perfectly well since then… Not that I have any complaint to make."

"What do you mean?" asked Al with a frown.

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be that confident today. And I'm glad you did all the things you did. Look at me. I'm a new man. I'm not ashamed to say that I'm attracted to my own brother and that I want to…"

"Don't say it!" cut him Albus.

"Why?" asked James, curious.

"Cause I'm gonna come just with your voice. That's already embarrassing for me that each time we've been 'together' I climaxed even if you didn't do anything."

"Don't worry, Albus. That makes me want you even more. Because I want to hear and see how you're gonna react… Besides, I have to make it up to you, now."

"I definitely like the sound of that."

"I bet you do."

And after that, Albus completely forgot to bring to the fore the subject of his virginity. He was too far in his pleasure to think about it. Their night was wonderful. No, wonderful was nothing compared to their naked bodies clutch together reaching orgasm after orgasm.

…

Albus and James knew they didn't have enough time to catch up the lose time. The day after their reunion, the Potter went to Diagon Alley to buy Lily and Albus' stuffs for school. They spent a lovely but wearying day so when they finally came back home, after a frugal dinner, Albus and James fell asleep on Al's bed, happy to hold each other, quite simply.

On Tuesday, Albus showed James the progresses he had made with his drawing project. James was stunned by Al's gift. It wasn't done yet but still it was amazing. With joy, James and Albus did a last session of pose. For the last time, they fell in the atmosphere that scared them so much at the beginning of the summer. They weren't afraid anymore. They were just full of expectation. That night, they almost had sex but they were stopped by Ginny's cries in the middle of the night. That killed the mood completely but allowed the boys to talk about what they were about to do. Albus admitted to James he wanted to give him his virginity. After a long staring, James confessed it was the same for him. They fell asleep after that, James spooning his brother lovingly.

Wednesday was the last day at home and so the day of tidying-up and last preparations. Despite his artistic behavior, Albus was the type of guy who loved a well-maintained area, probably the Severus side in him. Anyway, his trunk of school-material was quickly prepared. As was his trunk of artistic-material. That put him in a strange mood so he asked James to take a walk with him. Of course, his brother didn't mind. With joy and respect, they went to their usual park and sat on Al's bench. Then they shared a cigarette. Then a second and a third. They both needed to relax.

"Do you think it was just a one-summer thing?" asked Albus, the first one to voice his concern out loud.

Of course, James knew immediately what he meant.

"I wouldn't have kissed you if it was just a fling, Albus… I still found it a bit odd but I got over it thanks to you. That means too much! We're brother after all…"

"Good then!" said Albus between two drags. "Because I love you."

James' eyes went wide.

"You what?"

"Well, if it wasn't obvious… I do love you, James. I mean, as a lover."

"Why do you tell me that in a public area?"

Albus frowned, completely taken aback by the question.

"What?"

"Because now I want to kiss you and ravish you on that bench…"

Albus smirked. Frankly, he couldn't help it.

"I guess that means you love me too."

"I do, Albus. Even if that makes me a fucking amoral person, I do love you with all my heart. And I'm sorry to fight my feelings all that time."

"It's alright, Jamie. I prefer that you take your time to finally be sure of yourself than you regret afterwards."

Albus and James' hands found each other pretty easily after that. Albus even leaned on James, kissing his neck quite loudly. James' eyes were closed. He was in heaven.

"I need you" slipped out of his mouth after a while, Albus' hand was now on his crotch. "Merlin! Albus. I need to feel you."

"Can you Apparate us in your bedroom?" asked Albus in a husky tone.

"I've never done a Side-Along Apparition before. I'm not sure I can do it."

"Well if you don't, I swear I'm gonna give you a blowjob right now."

So James Apparated them and since he was very determined to reach his destination, with complete deliberation, the little hast he put in the process was not really a problem so they landed on Al's bed, James on top of his brother. They immediately burst out laughing, their horny state completely forgotten. James had actually succeeded to Apparate them.

"James! Albus! You're here?" asked Ginny and the boys stopped laughing.

"Yes, mum" answered James, keeping his brother close to him, for Albus' liking. "We just came back."

"Good. We were waiting for you. We're about to leave for the Burrows so hurry up."

Albus sighed heavily. He didn't want to go there at all.

"Do we have to come, mum?" asked James, for Albus' surprise.

Hearing the sounds of Ginny's steps in the stairs, the two brothers split up, James falling on the floor.

"Why don't you want to come?" asked Ginny as she stepped in the room.

"Well, it's our last night together. We won't see each other before long, so you know…"

"You should have told me that before. I've already told my mum we were coming… But I suppose you can stay here together if you really want to. We will come home on tomorrow morning to Apparate on the Platform. Harry won't be at home tonight. So if you want to stay, you have to promise me to be ready tomorrow morning. Can I trust you?"

"Of course, you can. We'll set an alarm!"

"Alright, then. Have a nice night. Behave and enjoy."

"We will." Answered the boys in one voice.

Once Ginny closed the door, Albus turned to James:

"Is that me or for once the odds are in our favor?"

"You watched the old Hunger Games too many times, Al', I swear…" laughed James.

"Speaking of hunger, I'm yearning for you…"

"Oh you are?" smirked James.

"Put that smirk out of your face. That doesn't suit you. It's my trademark…"

"So what suits me?"

"Your look of adoration when you turn your eyes on me… Your look of desire when you kiss me… Your look of contentment when you fuck me…"

"I've never fucked you!"

"Yet…"

"Albus! James! We're leaving." Exclaimed Ginny from the ground floor.

"Bye Mummy. Bye Lily." They both answered.

At the second they heard the Floo, they were jumping at each other mouth.

…

After the death comparison of their first blowjob, James and Albus' first intercourse should be compared to a rebirth. Of course, they weren't deprived of the usual events of a first time. Weird moments. Embarrassed ones. Hasty ones. Good ones. And painful ones, at least for Albus.

Beyond the normality of their interaction though, James and Albus were hit by feelings they thought they could have never felt. After the A Bomb, after their death by an oversized amount of pleasure, their renaissance was most of all very pure. Of course, it was powerful for James to be buried in Albus. Of course, it was powerful for Albus to feel his brother touching the very depth of his behind. But that wasn't what moved them the most. The dance of their bodies was in fact a communion of their souls, the beginning of a new life. After their night, James and Albus weren't James and Albus anymore. They were a new entity.

It began with the building of urge and desire, induced by kisses, touches, fondling, grabbing, Albus and James over the edge of a precipice of pleasure. But rather than a precipice, it was a mountain. Each kisses brought their pleasure on the next level. Each move of James' fingers in Al's body increased their delight. They were already close but they hadn't reached the summit of happiness. When James penetrated Al for the very first time, they both let out a loud sigh. James was moaning while Albus was whining. At that moment if there had had no love between them, they could have taken two different paths, James sinking into oblivion and Albus being on painful fire. But, as for the blowjob, they looked at each other. They stared for maybe five minutes. They just buried themselves into the eyes of the other. Then and not before, the climb of the mountain started again. And when they finally reached the top, both crying their new pleasure through the name of the other, it was like a new breath. Their first breath. They were alive. Alive thanks to the other. Alive only for the other.

On the field of the A bomb, life was raising again as a new hope. Their need to feel had devastated their body, leaving only love, the strongest feeling of all, between them. Albus and James felt complete. They were in love and they had just prove their love in the best possible way. But now, never would they be able to live without the other, without the skin of the other, without the love of the other. Unlike a need you can fulfill, the need to feel, the need to love requires a constant refill: James and Albus were more than ready to comply with the power of love, with the power of sensations.

…

Opening your eyes to see the wonderful face of your lover is amazing. On the 31st of August, Albus and James couldn't agree more with that. Unfortunately, it was also the last time they would see that sight in a long while. And so they were both sad and grumpy. They hadn't slept much. Not more than one hour and everybody could see it on their face. Ginny didn't say anything since they were in fact ready when she arrived at home. Harry came back home not so long after that and together they all Apparated near the Hogwarts Express. They were there early which gave Albus and Lily the opportunity to choose their place. Lily went with their cousins as Albus went with Scorpius. Of course, Draco and he had arrived early too. Albus was happy to see his friend again but immediately Scor' knew that something was off with Al'. Maybe it had something to do with their fathers. Even if Harry and Draco tried to behave, it was obvious they couldn't take their eyes off of each other. Luckily, they both put their children at the top of their concern, so they didn't really show their affection in public. Ginny was boiling with anger even if she had no right to henceforth. But she couldn't help it.

Little by little, all the students began to arrive at the station and soon it was good-bye time. Albus didn't show his distress until he fell on James' body but his brother reassured him:

"It's gonna be alright, baby. Don't forget I love you."

Albus bit his lips. He hated to get emotional, especially in front of his family. He whispered an "I love you too" and then leaned on James, who thought he was going to kiss him in front of everyone. And the worst was he didn't mind at all. But Albus only kissed him on the cheek, on the corner of his mouth though. That startled the family a bit but they all knew they were pretty close and they had been even more in the summer so they let it go. Albus jumped into his compartment and went to the window. Nobody saw it except James but Albus immediately took a cigarette from his pocket. They weren't even really away from each other, he already needed a fag. James couldn't blame him. At that instant, he felt the same.

And just like that, the Hogwarts Express started up.

A last wave, a last look and they couldn't see each other anymore. James and Albus felt as if someone had crushed their heart in pieces. It was awful.


	4. Part 4

Two months can be very long when you're away from the one you love. 'One person is missing and the whole word is deserted' says the poet. Assuredly, James and Albus felt the same way. Just like their previous separation, this one was fulfilled with lots of owls from both, lots of 'I miss you', lots of 'I love you'. Fortunately, they were both very busy with their schedule.

As a seventh grade student, Albus had his NEWTs to complete, so he was buried in his work… and in his art too. His Art professor had been very happy with the work Albus had produced during his holidays. Even if he hadn't told Albus, he was pretty confident that Albus' paintings would be the masterpiece of the whole exhibition. Albus was really gifted even if he didn't see it like that. There were always details he wanted to rectify. He wanted his triptych to be perfect. And it would be.

As for James, he had been recruited by the London Griffins as a reserve Chaser. Since he just came into the professional world of Quidditch, the team manager needed some guarantee of his talent before putting him out there in the field. Of course, he had been the best player of the course, but the London Griffins was one of the best team and a professional schedule was something else than school Quidditch. James was following the training with the other players and everything was going well. The coach hadn't said it but he wanted to introduce James as a new asset. James had to stay in the bleachers during the first matches of the season. The coach wanted to keep his prodigy in his pocket. For now, anyway… James was still living at his parents – even if the place was almost always empty – so he had to travel every day by Apparition or Floo and after a long day of training, he was completely exhausted. But he wrote to Albus nonetheless.

Not a day went by without them writing to each other. And it was the only thing that made them withstand the separation until the end of October.

…

The day before the 27, James was already unable to stand still and his teammates noticed it. It was so un-James. His friend tried to ask him why he seemed so happy but James only told them he had a day-off the next day. The true reason came from the things he was going to do on this Friday, which was coming to Hogsmeade to finally see his brother again. That and helping the art class of Hogwarts to prepare the exhibit. As usual, Albus had been very persuasive. Not with his brother, but with his teacher. He had told the man that they needed an extra-help and what best than James, a former student of Hogwarts, one of the model, who was therefore ready to help by sheer generosity? The professor had agreed for Albus and James complete joy.

James was leaving on the very evening and he had rent a room for three days at the new inn of Hogsmeade, 'The Other Way Around'. James had difficulties to believe that this was it. After two dreadful months, he was finally going to see Albus again. Of course, it was going to be a bit difficult since there were going to be lots of people surrounding them but it was better than nothing.

Hours passed until James found himself in his new bedroom. The king-size bed was very comfy and James couldn't prevent some naughty thoughts to cross his mind. They were going to enjoy that nice room with Albus. Okay, he was a bit horny since their last time. After all, he had had a taste of pure nirvana thanks to Al's body. Compared to that, just a hand wasn't really appealing. But, it had made the trick. And it would do it that night… Thoughts of Albus, who was so close to him by only few miles, always put him in a state he couldn't help but slip his hand in his pant. What would Albus think if he saw him like that? He would love it, definitely.

The reunion of the two brothers was far from being emotional or even sexual for that matter. There were just too many people. People who knew James, as well as Albus. James was thanked by Al's professor for his kind help and then their work begin. James and Albus spent the whole day together and as a well-oiled machine, they immediately knew what they had to do. They completed each other, it was perfect.

When everything was settled, Albus convinced James to come with him in Hogwarts. He had no right to get into the school, he wasn't a student anymore but the Headmaster allowed him. The Potters were a bit of the teachers' favorites. They were Harry's children, after all.

Albus led James to his Common Room, a huge grin on his face.

"If I didn't know you have an exhibition tonight, I wouldn't imagined it. You seem perfectly cool…" said James as they were stepping into the room.

"I am stressed but I'm so happy that you're here so I guess the stress doesn't really count…for now. When I'll be alone later, I think it will be a lot different…"

"I'm sorry about that. The coach told me about the dinner just after he allowed me to take the day-off. But as I told you in the letter, we'll be together for the whole week-end."

"I'm glad the Headmaster believed the whole 'we'll spend the week-end in family'"

"It wasn't that complicated. I just had to tell him I was speaking in my dad's name…"

Albus laughed. "You can be a true Slytherin sometimes, Jamie…"

"Well, I have to be as good as my brother…"

"Speaking of that, don't want to try me to see if I'm still that good" replied Albus with a flirtatious smile.

"Lead the way to your dorm, baby…"

Albus smirked. James was indeed more and more comfortable.

Luckily for them, the dorm was still very empty so as they came into the room, they immediately began to kiss and it was like coming back home. The kiss heated so quickly that before they had the chance to draw breath, they were on Albus' bed, the curtain closed, James on top of Albus. Quickly enough, Al's t-shirt was nowhere to be seen and his pant was slightly open, James' tongue leaving a wet but warm trail on Albus lower abdomen.

"God, Jamie!" exclaimed Al when his brother slipped his boxer on his legs freeing in the process his rocket-hard cock. "What are you doing?"

"I was dying to do it since you left for school… Albus, you're so bloody gorgeous!"

"You know we don't have a lot of time…" tried to reason Albus even if he had absolutely no desire to stop.

James' kisses were driving him crazy.

"How much time do you need?" asked James with difficulty.

He looked at Albus and his brother stared back. A proverb saying everyone was the master of his time lingered briefly in Albus mind when he decided they had enough. By far…

"Probably one second with the sight you give me…" finally whispered Albus in a lustful tone.

That's all it took to James to begin sucking.

Few minutes later, Albus was in the shower, cleaning their last drops of sweat and cum. When he came back in the dorm, James was talking with his roommates and didn't seem embarrassed at all. Albus smiled to him, tenderness written all over his face. Albus looked at the clock and didn't lose more time to dress. James tried to follow the conversation but Al' was distracting him. Not only was he handsome with only his boxer but now he was making an effort with his clothes and that was definitely working.

"I thought you didn't need to see the effect you have on others anymore?" asked James once they were alone again.

"I just want to make a good impression." Smirked Albus.

"People will be more focused and impressed by your ass than anything…"

"No, they will be by yours… After all, you're the one completely naked on my paintings."

"And that is why I'm not that disappointed to be away from the presentation."

"I can't wait but see dad and mom's reaction, anyway!" exclaimed Albus after a while.

"Which means you dread to see it…"

Albus smirked again.

"You see through me, Jamie."

"It's gonna be alright, Al'. I'll think about you the whole time. And don't forget, I'll be there after…"

"Let's hope…"

"Come on! You have to go now or you'll never do…"

On this, James came with Albus to the exhibition hall, then after a last kiss, he left him. He had after all a dinner to attend. Immediately after he was left alone, Albus tensed. Of course, James' presence had distracted him a lot but now all his stress was crushing him. He wasn't anxious about his art at all. He was very confident actually. As he was supposed to be. And he was very proud of it too. His family's reaction was his main concern. That's what stiffened him. He would have cursed for a cigarette but his eyes caught the silhouette of his dad, already there, and so he came in. Harry wasn't alone. Draco was at his side, as if it wasn't weird at all. Albus didn't find it weird per se. He kind of like it actually. Because they were smiling to each other. Big time. Of course, there wasn't a lot of people yet. So it was probably the only reason why they were so open around each other. Albus saw they couldn't really help it. They must have been blind to not see they were already in love. Such a shame to waste a life time for silly reason as the rules of nemesis…

Albus walked to the pair and finally his dad noticed him.

"The star is here!" exclaimed Harry and Albus couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hey dad!" he answered before he turned to Draco. "Hey stepdad!"

Harry blushed a bit but Draco's reaction was priceless. He burst out of laughing. Literally. It was very funny to watch. The former Slytherin wasn't known to lose his cool after all. But what was even funnier was what happened next. Harry leaned on Draco, whispering something in his ear, making the blond blush too. Beyond priceless… They were kind of cute, though. And it was definitely nice to see his dad acting like a teenager. So unusual…

"So I supposed you're in a hurry that the show begins?" asked Draco then.

Albus nodded. "I'm not really sure what you're going to think about my paintings but you're right, I'm in a hurry…"

"Don't worry" began Draco and Albus was certain he was going to tell him that he was sure his paintings were wonderful. Albus almost rolled his eyes, except Draco added "We'll be as honest as possible. At least I will be. Not sure about Harry… You're maybe a grown-up but he still sees you as a baby."

"Draco!" exclaimed Harry, slightly embarrassed.

"I already know that, dad… And I'll keep your words in mind, Draco. I'll expect a blunt reaction."

Draco smiled and after that they chatted a bit until the Weasley family arrived. Harry tensed. Draco felt it and put his hand on his lower-back. It seemed so natural for the both of them, they didn't even noticed it could be taken in the wrong way. Albus saw his mother scowling at the sight of the two love birds. Damn, he couldn't feel sorry for her…

Albus greeted everyone and after that he busied himself with his professor. He wasn't ready to handle his family. Not yet.

At 8.30, finally, the presentation began. The tension increased. Albus knew his pieces would be the last one to be revealed so he waited silently. He turned to see the public. It was quite crowded. The family of his comrades were all there. The professionals too. He felt uncomfortable. Suddenly, Albus had a furious urge to smoke, which was very impossible at the moment. So he just waited, his eyes slightly closed. Then, finally, all the looks were on him. Albus was now in front of the crowd and he couldn't help but smirk: his natural response for everything. He knew it could be misinterpreted but he couldn't help it. It kind of reassured him, strangely enough.

First thing Albus saw was the expression of pure shock. And not only his family. He was the only one who had painted a nude. Quickly enough, though, the shock was replaced by admiration. They were impressed. Even the professionals. Albus had an amazing technic and he was working on both Muggle and magical arts which created something wonderful. The smirk on Albus' lips wanted to go wider but he fought it, looking at his family as a cure. He could almost see the machinery of Harry's understanding in his dad's eyes. Albus looked for his mom but she was nowhere to be seen. It was odd. He had seen her only a while ago. Albus shook the thought to keep going his inspection with Draco's reaction. The blond was sharing a look with Harry. They were definitely on the same page. That would be funny to hear what they were going to say… Or maybe not.

Albus was still thoughtful when he remembered that the show was finally over. The crowd began to spread into the room. The few professionals were all in front of Albus triptych so he went to his family.

"That's…" began Rose but couldn't find a way to finish his sentence.

"Beautiful!" exclaimed Lily. "Even if I would have preferred to see someone else genitals!"

Then she hugged Albus, the atmosphere lightening slightly.

"I'm proud of you" whispered Harry but Al' saw there wasn't just pride in his eyes.

"So Draco, what do you think?" couldn't help but ask Albus.

Everybody went silent and Draco smirked. Albus thought for a while that he must have had some Malfoy's blood in his veins because that smirk… Harry turned to Draco to see what was going to be his reaction.

"I find it really interesting" replied the blond. "And I think it said a lot about you. It is after all the first paintings you decide to really show to the world. You're gifted, that's obvious and very confident about your work. You want to shock. You're very alike Harry. You definitely have the same balls…"

"Draco…" whispered Harry in a warning tone.

But the blond gave him a bright smile and Harry only rolled his eyes. The others were still silent and so Albus was very relieved when his professor chose this moment to talk to him. He had a huge grin.

"That's good, Albus. Really good. I'm glad I managed to persuade some of my friends to come. You could have good news after tonight, Albus. I'm confident."

"Really?"

"It is for you they are here, Albus and I swear they didn't move for nothing. I sent them some of your work before the show and they were already impressed."

"Thank you, Will. Thank you very much." Answered Albus with a shy smile. "I wasn't aware it could lead to something more…"

"Nonsense! I'm sure you were. You're a clever young man, after all. So, how was the reaction of your parents?"

"I think they have to get over the fact it is James who is naked!"

"Yes, it can be a real shock, I can imagine. Well, I see if I can talk to them. Enjoy your evening, anyway."

The preview went on from there, people leaving one by one. Albus spoke with professionals but avoid his family and most of all his father all night long. Then, finally, the evening was over. Albus was glad. Everything had been great and now he was going to meet James and celebrate with him.

It appeared it wasn't Harry's idea though. Albus' dad went to his son offering him to eat in Hogsmeade with Draco and Scorpius. Albus didn't know how to refuse so he agreed, praying for James not to be arrived yet. Of course, his dad had to pick the restaurant of the new inn. Albus was more than happy to have Scorpius with him. First, he was his friend. Second, Harry wasn't going to talk about something awkward, even if it was obvious Harry wanted to do exactly that.

Their dinner went oddly well. They had actually a lot to talk about and even if Harry was trying to influence the conversation on Al's triptych, his son succeeded to change the topic, each time very tactfully.

Then, he intercepted a look between Draco and Harry and suddenly Draco decided it was time they went away with Scorpius. They still had their dessert to eat so they were going to stop by the Three Broomsticks, or at least that's what Albus thought he understood of the mental discussion Draco and Harry were having. Harry decided to take the two blond there. Albus was near the window so he took benefit of his place to observe his father as he was leaving the restaurant. They were just stepping outside that Draco took Harry's hand in his own. Albus frowned and wondered why they were so open in front of Scorpius. He should ask his friend about that.

Once they were out of sight, Albus allowed his eyes to wander and after only five minutes, he spotted James who was leading to the bar, their meeting place. One second later, James saw him and his brother walked toward him, a huge grin on his lips. Albus, though, seemed nervous. James frowned and moved his hand to meet Albus cheek, a silent 'what's wrong?' between them.

"Dad is here!" said Albus out loud.

And James tensed. Only one minute later, Harry was coming back. The two brothers hadn't moved yet and so he was very surprised to see his elder son who was supposed to be across the country.

"What are you doing here?" asked Harry before they all decided to sit.

James turned to Albus before he answered:

"We were supposed to meet here after the exhibition…"

Harry frowned. Something was happening there. Something he wasn't sure he wanted to understand. Still, he needed to know… At least, some things. That's why he asked after an awkward silence:

"How is that possible that I didn't know you were Albus' model, James?"

If James had tensed when he had known his father was there, Albus got mad to know Harry risked to ruin his night.

"What does that matter?" he asked in an aggressive tone.

"Well…" said Harry, uncomfortable. "That's peculiar…"

"And yet, people liked it. You were there… My professor said the professionals were impressed!"

"I didn't say your work wasn't exceptional. But you know what I mean… Your emotions and feelings were even clearer!"

Albus was upset now and very angry.

"How can you know a thing about my feelings, dad?"

Then he stood and left the table. James was about to follow him but Harry stopped him:

"Your brother is sensitive, James" he said as if his son knew what he was speaking about. "You have to think more about your attitude and be careful. As I said, his paintings were obvious. You probably wanted to help him being his model but it seems that it meant much more to him than to you. So be very careful!"

"Can I go, now?"

James wanted to hear nothing more. His dad got everything wrong… Fortunately though.

"You should take him back to Hogwarts… Or maybe I should…"

"I don't think it's a good idea!" answered James immediately, trying to hide his panic. "I'll do it."

"I trust you."

James nodded but didn't answer anyway because of course, he had other plans. Side by side, they left the restaurant, Harry leaving Hogsmeade with a last look to his son. James didn't need too many time to find Albus, who was smoking as expected.

"Come on" he said to his brother with a shy smile. "I have the key of the room so let's go…"

"Where is dad?" asked Albus as an answer.

"He left. I promised him I would take you back to the school, but…"

"Undeserving son!" chuckled Albus.

The boy could be so moody sometimes but that simple laugh sent butterflies in James' belly. He easily forgot his father's words…

… And even more during the two following days… the two following nights. The time Albus and James spent together was magical, intense and full of love.

…

James was home for only one minute on Sunday night than Harry was there too, coming to him an angry look on his face and shadows under his eyes. His dad perfectly knew he had lied to him. In a part of his brain, James had hoped Harry would be too focus on Draco to notice… It seemed it hadn't worked. At all.

"Where were you?" asked Harry only out of principle.

"With Albus, obviously."

"Don't look so smug, James!"

"I'm not…" whispered James, looking at his shoes.

"And look at me! You don't understand what you're doing!"

James looked immediately worried. What was Harry meaning exactly?

"You're not helping him at all, James. You're his big brother. You shouldn't encourage his unhealthy feelings! I'm sure you want the best for him. So please stop seeing him and talking to him for a while."

James had a sick feeling in his chest. He knew it would do no good to tell Harry the truth but in a way, he had the sensation to betray Albus. And yet, what Harry was telling him touched him. Completely. Suddenly, he was questioning the right and wrong of his situation. Besides, his father seemed very unwell. As if it was affecting him much more than he had thought. He felt wrong and bad. And he wanted to see Albus…

"By the way" said Harry again. "I have to tell you something important… because it seems you don't know yet. Lily and Albus must be aware now. Your mother had given an interview to the press about Draco and me. It got out yesterday on the Prophet, midday edition. That's going to be bad, James. For you, Albus and Lily. So you'll have to be careful when you leave the house. There will be journalists, I suppose and lots of questions…"

"What did mum say exactly?"

"I'll let your read it if you want to but it's a lot of bullshit… Anyway, I'm not going to agree for an interview. Neither Draco. But it's already too late it seems so. They're going to have rumors. So you have to know the truth. I was on my way to Hogwarts before I learnt you were home so I'll just say it to Albus and Lily tomorrow. We've instituted a divorce proceedings two months ago with your mother. The paper says I cheated on her, that's not actually true. We've discussed this with Ginny. We had already split up. We wanted to keep everything low but she changed her mind."

"How could she? She knew this was going to affect us all…"

"I hurt her more than I thought, I do believe…" answered Harry after a sigh. "Anyway, you already know that I spend most of my night at Draco's and I'll keep doing it until she'll remove her stuffs. I'm not sure I'll keep the house but that's not your concern for now. She is going to move out to the Burrows. You're welcomed to stay here, of course and I'll be glad if you do. As soon as she moves out, I'll spend more times with you but for now I really can't see her…"

"I understand, dad. And I don't want to go to the Burrows."

"Alright, that's settled."

"You should not wait to tell Al', though… I'm not sure he's going to take it well…"

"He seemed pretty happy with, you know, Draco and I…" answered Harry, shyly.

"Not about that. I'm sure he will be unhappy with mum. He's just come back to Hogwarts. If you go now, he won't have time to do something stupid…"

"You may be right!"

"They'll agree if you're the one to ask to come in Hogwarts anyway…"

Harry smiled.

"You're right. I'm gonna go then."

"Could you give Albus something for me then… I won't be long. Just a note I need to write."

Harry frowned but let it be. James summoned a parchment and a quill and wrote a quick note. Then he locked the paper, casting a strong spell making Albus the only one to open it. Harry frowned again, not sure why the note needed such a charm. He had a furious urge to read it and he knew that he had enough power to unlock it but after what had happened earlier in the week-end maybe that wasn't a good idea. Besides, he didn't want to invade his sons' privacy. So he took the note and finally left.

As James had said, he had no difficulties to come in Hogwarts and find his kids to talk to them. Albus had already read the article when he found them. James had been right: he was angry. And he was surprised to see his father. Quickly, Harry took Albus and Lily aside and gave them the same speech he had given to James. Their reaction was quite different though. Lily began to cry as Albus took a cigarette. Harry hadn't the strength to make him stop. Things were hard and they were going to be harder. Just before he left, Harry remembered the note and gave it to Albus. His son couldn't help but smile a little even if he tried to hide it. Harry wasn't a fool though. Maybe he should have a proper conversation with Albus. The thought didn't please him at all, he already knew how it would end… Even in his wrong doing, Albus would manipulate him too easily. He had to talk with Draco first. The blonde was after all a man of sound advice.

After a quick hug to Lily, Albus returned to his Common Room and finally to his dorm where he was all alone. He opened the letter and his eyes went wide:

"_Albus,_

_I shouldn't write to you now, especially because Dad is looking at me but I had to. He was there when I came back and we talked…_

_I need some time, Albus. Dad told me things that shakes me a bit. No! A lot. Even if he doesn't understand the whole thing, he asked me to stop talking to you and seeing you. Maybe this is a good idea. I don't know… Especially with what's going to happen now… Our secret would ruin everything… Even more. I'm so sorry, Albus. I'm completely lost, again. Try to take care of yourself._

_I love you."_

Albus was so disturbed he was shaking furiously. He had only one urge: take the Floo and go straight to his brother. How could James contradict himself in one note? 'We should stop talking but I love you.' What a nonsense! Even if he felt sorry for his dad, right now, Albus wanted to kill him. Why did he have to ruin their relationship which was finally so good? It was his anchor and he would have needed it right now…

Even more than he could have thought. Because the few following weeks were awful. Everybody was talking about Harry and Draco, as if it was the big news of the century. Really, after a war… People were looking at Lily, Albus and Scorpius all the time, whispering behind their backs. It was awful. Hogwarts was maybe surrounding by people from the Potters' clan but since they believed Ginny's version of the story, they were more Weasley than anything, it didn't really help.

Lily felt very lonely so she spent all her time with Albus and Scorpius in the art studio. Al' and Scor' were dorm mates and best friends so it was obvious they would spend their time together. Scorpius was after all in the same situation than the Potters' children even if he took that pretty well. He loved Harry very much and as he told Albus, he had jumped on their fathers fucking a few while ago. The fact that it was a common knowledge now didn't bother him. The lies they said about his dad, about Harry, about the war though… It was hard.

But the boys were strong. They were grown-ups now and knew how to take care of themselves. It was different with Lily. She was just 15 and even if she had been a sweet teenager, she was now spending all her time staring into space and Albus had no idea what to do… Fortunately, Scorpius was there. The boy just knew what to do. He had such an easy way to speak to people and comfort them. Albus could have been a good comforter but he had too many problems on his hands. He missed James in a way he would have never thought was possible. He had respected James' wish to stop talking. The thing was he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't force James, could he? But that was destroying him. He already knew that it wasn't just a crush or a one-summer thing, he understood now that he loved his brother very deeply. He could never love someone else that way and even if it could have been a good thing, for now it was very wrong. They couldn't be just brothers again and if they weren't lovers so they were nothing. By one note, James had succeeded to suck up all the good emotions he had in him. So now he was full of feelings – as he had said to his dad – but only hard ones, destroying ones. He was smoking and drinking too much, he knew it but he was also drawing quite a lot. And it was good. The only one who noticed was of course Scorpius but the young blond hadn't pushed the matter when Albus had just told him, one night of lot drinking, that he had a secret that was eating him alive, a secret he couldn't reveal because it would ruin his life. Scorpius had understood, in a way but even if he wanted to know only for the sake of his friend, he just did his best to help him with the few knowledge he got.

Unfortunately, Albus wasn't the one that scared him the most and that was something to say. He tried to talk with Lily but the girl just turned mute. She was a pale image of what she had been. Even the red color of her hair had lost its brightness. It was difficult to watch. But if she didn't want his help, there was nothing he could do, except being there for her. And she appreciated it, more than he thought. That was maybe the reason why he was the first one to know, with Albus of course, that she had decided to leave Hogwarts to go to France to join Beauxbatons, thanks to Fleur's family. That was a shock for both young men. But it was Lily's choice and it was obvious she had thought a lot about it. After a few talking, Harry gave his accord because he wanted what would be the best for Lily. The girl had been thrilled. Albus didn't get the chance to talk about it with James, obviously and for no reason that made him even more uneasy. They were no longer a family and things were about to change drastically.

As Christmas was coming, Albus wondered if he was finally going to see James again and if so, what would happen. He wished he could stay at Hogwarts but it wasn't a solution. As usual, all the Weasleys were going to meet at the Burrows, he didn't want to be a part of it. Even if holidays were going to be bad, at least, he preferred to be with his dad and brother in an awkward silence. But now that he was thinking about it, maybe James would go to the Burrows. Why had he been so sure they would be seeing each other, at least on Christmas? Albus couldn't believe his own idiocy!

As the Hogwarts Express was coming to his final hour trip, Albus couldn't help but smoke cigarettes on cigarettes. He knew Lily was going to the Burrows immediately to finalize her last things and bid her goodbyes. Then, the next day, she would pack all of their stuffs and then leave with Bill and Fleur.

Since Harry couldn't come to take him at the Station, that meant he was going to be alone. He had no intent to hear the Weasleys begging him to stay with them so he would have to be quick… Join the Appearing Area and just leave and meet the emptiness of his home… Or at least what had been his home.

…

For maybe the tenth time, James looked at his image in the mirror, checking if his hair was good, if he hadn't toothpaste on his lips, if his clothes fitted well, if everything was perfect in a nutshell. He was nervous. So nervous. His practice had just finished and he was already late. Since he was a real player of the team, the training sessions were even harder. But he enjoyed it. Or he could have… If Albus wasn't constantly in his mind. He couldn't think about anything else and it required a really strong character not to have admitting defeat and give up on his father's advice. His mood had taken a blow though. And his teammates noticed it. Since his day-off on October, James hadn't been the same. He was always in a very bad mood. Sometimes, he didn't speak too much. Sometimes, he was on the edge to burst out cry. And sometimes, he just wanted to kill someone. He was depressed but they had no clue why. He had been so happy and in a hurry that day. Of course, they all knew about the "affair" as they called it but James' behavior was obviously not because of that. He had been clear with his friends, he was okay with his dad's decisions and was very unhappy about his mother but he loved them both, no matter what they had done. And more importantly, he didn't want to talk about it. They had respected his choice but James' constant attitude was killing the mood of the team and it was bad. Of course, they were leaders of their championship so they shouldn't have been worried but things could take a disastrous turn easily. And they didn't want that. But most of all, James was a nice guy, a very good friend and he deserved to be happy. He was obviously not.

First, they had thought it was a love quarrel that had put him in such a state so they had tried to make him meet some chicks. That hadn't helped at all. The worst thing was that James seemed to really try but his heart wasn't into it. It was obvious. And since a few weeks now, he had stopped going out with the team. He just came back every night to his home where they knew he was most of the time alone. Harry wanted to spend time with James but James always declined. He wanted to be alone. He could understand easily the decision of his sister to go away. Even if it wasn't for the same reason, he kind of wanted that too… It was before the holidays though, before he began to think about Christmas. He knew Albus would be coming back home… They would see each other eventually. And he wanted it so completely. So badly…

The prospect of Christmas was what made James think very clearly for the first time… Of his life maybe. That was what helped him taking his decision. A crucial one which was settled now. That's what was making him so nervous now… For the eleventh time, he moved his hand to his hair… Why had he inherited of his father's untidy hair?

"You're perfectly handsome, Potter!" said one of his teammate. "As you were the last time you checked in the mirror, five seconds earlier…"

James smiled shyly to his image but didn't answer. The rest of his team was laughing at him. A bit. They were in fact very happy because finally something had happened in James' life. Something that made him want to clean himself, shave, and dress smartly. It had to be good! The smile he just gave was just another proof.

"So… who is a lucky girl?" James was asked suddenly.

"A boy." He blurted out without even thinking.

That's when he thought even more clearly about Albus, who had the bad habit to say things so frankly when he drank too much. The thoughts of his brother made him blush. That had nothing to do with the current reaction of his friends, who were wooing, their eyes wide-opened.

"We didn't know you were gay!"

"I didn't know it myself…" answered James with another smile.

"So your brooding over the months was only because you were questioning your sexuality?"

"Well, something like that…"

"And you're meeting your boyfriend now?"

"Something like that…"

"James! Not that answer again."

James finally turned around from the mirror, facing all his teammates.

"I kind of screwed things with him because I questioned myself too much and pushed him away. I haven't seen him in weeks. He was my boyfriend before but I don't know what he is anymore".

Well, that was a lie. He knew he was his brother but still…

"Merlin! We know nothing about your life. It's complicated!"

'Even more if you knew the ins and outs…' thought James but didn't reply.

"So you're gonna see him and you want him to fell for you again, just by one look?"

"Basically…"

"You did a great job" said Shannon. "You're handsome and sexy. I'm sure he'll be in awe."

"He can't be in awe. That's not him at all. Besides, he is the sexiest between us. Even if he was wearing a bin bag, he would be more handsome than me!"

"So you love him!"

"What?" exclaimed James.

"Well, only love bird speaks like that, honey."

The realization hit James even more because it wasn't his mind which was speaking. But another human being. Of course, he already knew he loved Albus but that was different. Different as in speaking about Albus and him without feeling awkward. He just felt happy and full of expectation about what was coming really soon… He looked at the clock… What was coming now actually. He looked at his friends again and then said:

"I have to go now. See yah."

"Go get him, James!" they chanted as he was leaving.

He had definitely a smile on his lips now.


	5. Part 5

James arrived at the Station a few seconds later. He just had to Apparate after all and for his joy, the train wasn't there yet. He only had to wait two minutes before the Hogwarts Express finally arrived. James was leaning on a dark wall, very attentive. He didn't want to be seen for now. Only by Albus and only when he would have spotted him. He knew it was childish not to speak to his family or even say them hello. But at that instant, he really couldn't do it. He had no English vocabulary in his head. Only one name: Albus. And frankly, it would have been very weird if he had talked to his family, only saying the A-word.

He saw his brother at the second he went out of the train and immediately his heart began to race. He bit his tongue. Albus was a wreck. He had dark rings under his eyes and he had lost weight. But he was beautiful. What he had told to his friends was true, it wasn't the words of a teenager in love… Albus was an angel… with his fair share of devil side, if his look was anything to tell. Luckily for James, Albus seemed to run away for the crowd, ready to take his leave as soon as possible. His eyes were lowered to his feet and he had even put his hood on his head so he didn't see James coming. He jumped of course when James' hand caught his arm. But the warm of the fingers was somehow familiar. Then he looked up. And then he saw him. And then his heart began to bleed. Tears dropped on his face. Tears he had refrained since their last wonderful nights and days. Tears he couldn't refrained anymore. Not when James' face was so close to him. He had missed his brother so much. He had suffered for two months but not as much as at that instant. It was awful. He wanted to rip his heart from his chest. He wanted to burn. He wanted James to stop holding his hand because he couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted James to stop hugging him because they would never be together. He wanted James to stop kissing him because he craved so much for his kisses. What? His kisses.

No he didn't want him to stop at all. James was kissing him. James had just Apparated them and they were currently in the living room of their house. And suddenly, it was too much for Albus. Because, yes, he had craved James' kisses. He loved James but his brother had destroyed him. And so he needed to show him how much he had suffered. Albus bit James tongue that was trying to make his way to his mouth. James didn't cry though. He moaned loudly, putting Albus on fire. Albus knew his brother was understanding all the things he hadn't been able to tell him those last weeks. Thanks to the kiss, he was giving James all his emotions. James was taking them willingly. He knew he had made Albus suffered. Even if he had this reasons, that wasn't an excuse… Somehow though, the kiss proved that Albus didn't really hold it against him. The final emotion of Albus was coming actually: his anger against James for not letting them be simply in love. And so the kiss turned harsh, violent. Albus was biting more than kissing, his tongue had invaded James' mouth as if he owned the place. The thing was, he owned the place, every single square of James' mouth. James' body even. That's when his hands began to move on their own accord, catching James head with passion. And James was more and more willing. But as Albus' emotions were finally finding some peace, he just knew he had to answer to his brother. And so he did, until only their passion and their need to feel took possession of their bodies. James had finally won the battle of dominance and he was pining Albus against a wall, his brother's legs winded around his hips.

That's when Harry decided to come home. He knew Albus would be already at home and he wanted to make him a surprise. He hadn't thought that James had gotten an idea too. He hadn't thought he would see his two sons, so close that he couldn't tell where James' body was beginning and Albus' body ending. He hadn't thought he was the one who would receive a surprise. And a surprise it was… So stunning that Harry couldn't refrain the spell that came out of his body: James and Albus were suddenly being repelled from each other, facing a wide-eyed Harry:

"What's going on between you two?" he asked in a low tone which wasn't a good omen.

"Nothing, we were just happy to see each other" tried to answer James but unfortunately the way they were kissing didn't let a lot to the imagination.

"Your tongues seemed very happy to see each other again, I can tell. So don't try to lie to me."

The two brothers looked at each other and then at Harry again, with now a certainty and a fire Harry couldn't understand.

"I'm glad I arrived before you could do more… because the way it was going, I'm afraid you would have done something you could really regret."

Neither of the two brothers denied anything. They just stayed quiet, obviously waiting the punishment, the yells, something… But Harry just looked at them before he made up his mind.

"James, I want you to go to the Weasleys, now." Harry began.

"What? No way. I don't want to go there. I want to stay here."

"What you want doesn't matter. You're going to. I need to talk to your _brother_…" and Harry emphasized on this term.

"I don't want to talk to you!" exclaimed Albus. "I have nothing to tell you. I want James to stay."

"I bet you want it. Well, that won't happen. Not when you two live under my roof. I'm gonna talk with you two, separately and we'll figure out what to do with your behavior!"

"You won't talk with me." Whispered suddenly James. "I'm not living here anymore. I've found a place in London, I guess I just have to move out now. So you want me to leave, I'll leave. But I take Albus with me."

"I don't think so, James. I don't know what makes you think I let you two leave together when it's obvious what you want to do. I won't sanction it. What makes you think I would sanction it? I can understand those last weeks have been tough on you but it's not the way you have to deal with it."

"This has nothing to do with you and mum!" growled Albus.

"Maybe not for you, Albus…" said Harry before he paused. "We're not having this conversation right now, anyway. Since you said you have a new place, James, that's alright. We won't need this house anymore. We'll go to Draco's place, Albus. Right now. And James, I still want to talk with you."

Harry looked at his son one last time then took Albus' arm and without another word, they Dissapparated, leaving James behind.

Harry didn't have to explain to Draco why they were here, he was almost already living with the blond. Draco was just happy to saw them so quickly, even if Albus' face wasn't really friendly. It was saying the least. Harry just asked mentally to Draco if he could take his son to another room because they needed to talk and of course Draco agreed. It's not as if Harry needed to ask anyway.

Harry led Albus, his hand still clutching his wrist, to the library. Maybe the quiet of the room could bring some peace. It occurred that Harry was wrong.

"I'm sure you think you love him…" began Harry straight forward.

"Stop talking now!" exclaimed Albus.

"We have to talk about it, Albus. First, the paintings. Now, that."

"I don't want to talk about my feelings, Harry." said Albus and it was the first time he didn't name his dad, dad. "You know nothing and you couldn't understand them."

"Things have changed since our last discussion." Replied Harry as if he was the one at fault.

"Maybe, but not quite enough. I bet you haven't told Draco you love him."

"This has nothing to do with Draco and me!"

"Well, I disagree. You want to talk with me about love when you're just discovering it… You're a novice and you want to understand the love I have for James?"

"So you admit you love him."

"Of course, I do."

"And you don't think this is inappropriate?"

That's when Albus decided he had had enough. Well, at least his magic did. Because he began to lose control over it. He was so angry. He wanted his father to stop talking, to stop existing even. Then began the second battle of dominance in Albus' day. But it was a battle of a new kind. And it was Harry, his dad, who was facing him. Without his wand, Albus couldn't control his magic flow as easily as usual and it was a bit scary to see what he was able to do. Objects began to fly around him and Harry was doing nothing. He just watched. He wasn't stunned. No. He was just estimating the situation and controlling his son's magic too. Because of course he was able to do it.

Albus got angrier because of Harry's attitude. At that instant, he kind of understand the feelings Draco had always got in front of Harry when he was a child: this certainty that he could handle everything that was draining off of Harry's every pore. It was annoying. Especially because Harry didn't even notice he was like that. Albus wanted to roll his eyes but he had to focus. He had even lost the smirk at that point.

Albus felt he was losing his strength but he was very mad at his father. And his anger was his fuel. Then, Harry began to answer him by little wave, showing him his power. Even an angry Albus had to admit it was scary. And suddenly the door of the library opened:

"Harry, are you alright?" Asked Draco. "The walls are shaking."

"It's okay, Drake. I just try to teach Albus a lesson…Don't worry, I'll clean the room afterwards."

This time, Albus rolled his eyes. His father was joking despite… their situation. He was really annoying.

"You'd better." Smiled the blond. "Then, I'll leave you two."

After Draco's leaving, the lesson was quickly taught. Albus was maybe powerful but Harry was… Harry. As annoying as it was, he had more power than ordinary wizards. Even extraordinary ones. Albus was one of them, he knew.

Completely exhausted, Albus fell on the flour but Harry caught him on time. He couldn't even be a complete bad ass. He had to be the hero. Annoying, again.

Albus fell asleep in Harry's arms not so long after that, his father carrying him to his new bedroom. He woke up the day after which was already Christmas' Eve. He was alone when he opened his eyes. He felt weak. He wanted to fall asleep again. But then he noticed the owl. It wasn't any owl: it was James'. Albus collected some courage to stand up and grab the letter tied at the bird's leg. Then, he came back to his bed and finally opened the note:

"_My dear Albus,_

_I hope you're alright. I'm really sorry about earlier. I had no idea that dad would come home… I am sorry and in a way I'm not because I made my decision. I love you and I want to do anything for us to be together. Don't fight against dad. Let him think you've understood his worries. Let him think that I don't love you as much as you do. That's going to help us. I want you to live with me, if you want it too, of course. The flat I found is fine enough – London is an expensive city after all – I wanted to show it to you during the holidays… Anyway, we'll have time. Give me some news, please baby. I want to know if you're alright. Don't smoke too much. Don't drink too much. And eat… I know I'm the responsible of your bad shape, I'm so sorry… I love you, Al'._

_Yours, James."_

Albus had to refrain to cry. He was so shaken by the recent events and those words… He was waiting for them. And now here they were. He was so fucking happy. He was going to live with James… He knew he should sleep again but right now, he needed to write to James to comfort him. He didn't want him to feel so sorry. The kiss had soothed all his wounds. Easily. He didn't lie to James in his letter. His brother needed to know what he had done but he told him he was fine now and he made him the promise to write every day. They were going to make it work. And Harry would be very surprised at the end.

After that, Albus finally fell asleep again. When he woke up the second time, Scorpius was in his bedroom, checking on him and he was glad to see him awake.

"Do you want something to eat?" was the first thing he asked.

Then he saw the smile on Albus' face. Al' couldn't help it: James loved him after all.

"You seem better…" said Scorpius.

"That's because I am." Smirked Albus.

"Can I ask why?"

"Yes, you can…"

"And will you answer?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Well, I'd like to know what happened yesterday. I care about you, Al' and … I don't know… You fought against your dad. And now you two live with us. I thought you were supposed to spend Christmas with James."

"I wish I could…"

"So explain to me!"

At that instant, Albus was actually tired to fight and tired to lie to his best friend so he decided that since his father and probably Draco too knew, Scorpius, his newly brother deserved to know.

"Alright, let's go. Feel free to hate me afterwards…"

Scorpius frowned. He really didn't get it.

"Yesterday, James was there when I came out of the train. We came home together. We thought the house was empty. Well, it was at first… So… Well, I should start with the beginning."

"Spill it, Al'. I'm not in the mood."

"James and I kissed and Harry found us. It wasn't the first time. The opposite actually. We've been together since the holiday… I love him and he loves me. Here! You're happy?"

Scorpius looked at Albus, wide-eyed. He was flabbergasted. He hadn't expected that at all. He knew it was something huge. That was beyond huge… He took maybe five minutes or ten before he spoke again. Albus didn't say a word, he let his friend process the information.

"I guess you're an artist…" finally mumbled Scor'.

An artist, as if it explained the everything…

"My love for James has nothing to do with me being an artist!" exclaimed Albus who began to turn angry.

"Maybe not! But the fact that you've accepted it has something to do with it! I bet James was a bit reluctant at first."

Albus rolled his eyes. Were they having that conversation? Really?

"Don't make me wait, Scorpius. Tell me that you hate me. Tell me that you find us disgusting."

"I won't say such a thing. I came from a pureblood family, if I was afraid of incest, I couldn't have stood a chance in my world"

"You don't think it's weird?" asked Albus, really confused.

"Yes it is. It may be a tradition in my family but I think it's peculiar. But I know you. You're my friend. I'm not going to judge you because of who you love. So, as long as you and James don't kiss in front of me, I'm able to live with it. I could even be able to live with you two kissing, but I'll have to take things slowly, if you don't mind."

And just like that, Albus burst out crying. He hadn't understood until now that he was craving for acceptance. And that's exactly what Scorpius just gave him. His friend closed the distance between them and took him in his arms. It was a long time before they split up. Albus had stopped crying and just got an idea.

"Do you think I'd push my luck if I asked you to cover for me? It's Christmas after all and I would like to see James, even if it's not for long."

Scorpius thought about it for ten seconds maybe and then he nodded.

"How do you want to do it?"

"I obviously can't Apparate. I'm too weak."

"The house has wards anyway…"

"Harry Apparated us yesterday, though."

"Harry is Harry… I'm sure he could manage to Apparate in Hogwarts if he wanted to."

That made Albus laugh.

"Anyway, I need to take the Floo. I just have to wait for James' letter. I asked him where his new flat was, that's fortunate. Then, you'll just have to remove the ward of your Floo for a while, only with James' fireplace of course. Do you think you can manage?"

"I can do it since it's only for one fireplace and I have Malfoy blood but we'll have to be careful. Dad knows everything that happens in the house. He is the Master of the place after all."

"Just open the Floo and go in your bed after that. I'll handle it from there. I don't care that my dad knows where I go. He'll know anyway. And I'll be grounded. But we didn't get the chance to say goodbye."

"I'll leave the Floo open for two hours but come back before the end of the countdown. If not, you won't be able to come in and you'll get stuck."

"I'm sure dad would be happy about that… Two hours, it's great…"

"You'll have enough time to do… whatever you want to do."

"Thanks so much, Scorpius. You're really the best of friends."

"I'm your only friend… It's not a difficult business."

On that, they began to laugh.

Since he had a good reason to be in good shape, Albus focused on his magic to recover. He wasn't that well when midnight came but it was still better than before. As expected, James had given him the address. His brother was worried, of course he was. Albus knew he would be at the apartment at midnight and so he was really in a hurry to go there.

Finally, time came and the plan went perfectly well. James' new flat had no particular ward so he stepped out of the fireplace to find a nice and cozy living room. It was obvious James hadn't unpacked everything. In one day, it was expected. But it was warm. And there was a Christmas tree. Albus looked at it and smiled widely. Let's hope he was going to give his brother the best gift ever…

Albus was suddenly very nervous. How was he supposed to get himself noticed? It was calm in the flat: James was probably sleeping. Albus didn't lose any more minutes and began to visit the apartment until finally he found the master room. There was a desk in it and James was sat behind it, buried in the writing of … something.

"You should think about putting some ward…" said Albus as if it was the first thing to say. Really!

James let out a cry… A really girlie cry, he would swear later he had never shout. He let go of his quill and spill some ink on his papers. But that didn't really matter because Albus was there. James mouth was forming a wonderful 'o' and he was still on his chair.

"Merry Christmas" whispered Albus and then he came closer.

Since James' brain didn't seem ready to function anytime soon, Albus sat on his brother lap and looked at him with a smile lingering on his lips.

"So beautiful…" he said. "Were you writing to me?"

"Of course I was" let out James finally.

"I love you."

"Merlin! I love you too, Al'… even if you almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm definitely going to give you one right now… Because we only have two hours and I intend to make the most of it."

James' answer was cut by Albus mouth. Albus' kiss was cut by James' hands under his shirt, leaving his lips their turn to form a 'o'. James didn't wait to slip his tongue in Al's mouth. And then the dance began. It wasn't really a battle for domination anymore. It was the well-known choreography of two members which enjoyed to be tamed again and again. It was then the ballet of two bodies which craved to be reunited. Easily, the clothes fell on the ground and yet they didn't moved from their spot. Albus was still on James' lap but now completely naked. They were so close from each other, their bodies clutched together, their cocks perfectly lined up. They were only moans. Albus was so pressed against the desk, it was almost painful. But it was a good pain. They both knew it would have been more comfortable on the bed and it wasn't really far but still it was too far for them because they needed each other with desperation. When James finally entered Albus after little preparation, they both let out a sigh of relief. It had been too long. Much too long. And because of that, they didn't last more than a few minutes. Only after they came on the bed and all over again they performed their eternal waltz.

…

When Albus finally came back to the Mansion exactly two hours after his departure, Harry was waiting for him in front of the fireplace, anger but also worriedness in his eyes. Albus wasn't really surprised to see his father, that's why he began to talk immediately without waiting his question:

"I just wanted to give him his present. I knew you wouldn't let me go so I made Scor' open the Floo."

"And you're gonna make me believe that it was just an exchange of gift?" asked Harry, disbelief written all over his face.

"Two hours, Harry. That was just two hours…"

"Based on the eagerness you had on Saturday, I'd tell two hours is completely enough…"

"This is none of your business anyway. I know you're gonna ground me and I really don't care. I just needed to see him on Christmas…"

"He is your brother…" sighed Harry as if he had already lost the battle.

"You can't chose who you love. You, more than anyone should understand that!" exclaimed Albus with fury but then he calmed down. "You want me to behave, that's exactly what I'm going to do. For the sake of this family but I won't let you tell me that I can't love him, is that clear?"

Harry looked at his son with trembling lips. As usual, Albus managed to make him question everything he knew. But it was still too much.

"Go to your room, Albus and get some sleep. Let's hope you'll see clearer in the morning."

"Of course, father!" answered Albus with irony.

And he left without a last look. Harry run a nervous hand through his hair. That was a total disaster and he didn't know how to fix it.

The next day, Albus woke up really late and he was in a very bad mood as soon as he saw his father. He didn't open his mouth and he didn't eat either. He knew he had promised James he'll do some effort about that but it wasn't yet the beginning of a new year… If he really had to put some stuff in his mouth, he much preferred to use a cigarette.

And that's exactly how the holidays went on… With a mute Albus, an angry Harry, a confused Draco and a friendly Scorpius. What a new family!

Harry left Albus alone but it was only in appearance. On New Year's Eve, he made a resolution: Albus was going to be stuck with him all the time. Of course, he couldn't make him change his mind about his brother but he could prevent the two brothers to see each other. And if they didn't see each other for six months, maybe it would be enough to make them forget about their stupid supposed feelings. At that instant, Harry didn't see or didn't want to see the depth of Albus and James' love. In his mind, it wasn't even love. He didn't know what it was, maybe lust, something like that, but it couldn't be love. It was inappropriate. He couldn't say he was disgusted or that he hated them. They were his sons after all. He loved them more than anyone. He just wanted to help them. Harry hadn't taken into account the stubbornness of two young adults. Two Potters more accurately.

For six months, James and Albus owled to each other every day. They talked about everything. Things that happened. Things that may happened. Things that were definitely not going to happen. Their dreams. Their desire. Their love. Later, they would admit that despite their separation, the base of their relationship was being established. And it was a good thing. But they were still almost teenagers and they had strong needs. Even if Harry was spending all Albus' free time in Hogwarts, he had still things to do and so he had to leave sometimes. Hogwarts was after all a secure place. But Albus had resources. Resources Harry himself had used. Then, it wasn't difficult for Albus to go in Hogsmeade and find a free Floo. It was so easy Albus wondered why he was the only student in Hogwarts to do it. But he didn't complain… His only complaints came from the lack of Harry's absence. In six months, Albus and James saw each other for real, less than ten times. It wasn't big but it was enough. They kept themselves busy, their goal in mind. Their goal of a promising future. And as the months passed, this future became more and more their present.

…

The last day of the year was finally there. An important day for the graduates of Hogwarts. The scene had been put up. The chairs for the audience were perfectly lined up. In their eight dorms, the seventh year finished to prepare. They were on the home straight.

The families finally arrived and all the students sat. Then came the graduates. Albus was in the line, about on the three-fourths. He was stressed but as his eyes spotted his brother, he knew that everything was gonna be alright. James wore a grin so large it made Albus want to laugh. But he was too afraid to puke to try it. The thumb up James gave him sent butterflies in his stomach. That was it. Not only his graduation but most of all the beginning of his life. Albus straightened himself and then looked straight ahead, ready to get over it.

The whole ceremony would be a blur in Albus' future mind, he was too happy at that time to recall anything. He was after all graduated top of his year. His first real memory came from the end of the presentation of diplomas because he got something he was once and again craving for.

James took him in an embrace when he finally stepped out of the stage. Too soon though, Albus heard the growl of his father and his attempt to break their hug. It was done tactfully but Albus was too happy to even consider to comply. So he whispered to his dad "Go away. Don't ever talk to me again" and it was done. After that, there had been the inevitable lunch with the family. Harry wasn't there, of course. Ginny and he were still discussing or more accurately fighting over the divorce. That didn't matter for Albus because all he could see was James, all he could feel was James' hand in his own. They were discreet but not very patient and they really wanted to go away and celebrate together. The meal was a torture. Albus had difficulties to focus on the conversation and yet he was one of the day boy. But when James' body was so close to him, it was understandable. They hadn't made love for three weeks. It was indeed a painful torture.

But as all good things come to an end, the bad things do too. They didn't lose too much time to bid their goodbye. It was a little bit obvious they wanted to go away but their family understood… Obviously they didn't. Not really anyway.

Albus Apparated them directly in the apartment and he was welcomed by the sight of his boxes and his trunks in the living room.

"I haven't got the time to tidy everything" whispered James. "But I suppose it would be even better to do that together."

Albus smirked and grinned at the same time, which gave him a funny face James wiped off by a kiss. The first sweet kiss led to a second one much more passionate which ended in the bedroom the two boys completely naked. As their moans began to fill the room, another noise, less pleasant, began to raise. Who would knock at their door at that hour of that day? Really!

At first, James and Albus didn't mind the sound. They were too busy to really notice it. But the person seemed to have hear their noises because it was obvious they didn't want to go away. Whoever it was, that person was stubborn and determined. It is curious that neither of the two brothers understood who it was. Let's say their brains were clouded by their desire, their need to feel.

After a last attempt to keep doing his business, James finally swore and stood up, grabbing the first piece of clothes he could find. It was his boxer and James thought at that instant it was perfectly enough to say the intruder to go to hell. He was going to review his judgment.

As he opened the door, James got the most surprising sight of his father and Draco Malfoy. So completely stunned by the improbable and incomprehensible presence of the men, James kept the door wide open. He didn't talk, he was still trying to process. Then he closed the door, pointing the couch to his father and the blond. What were they doing here exactly?

He was so buried in his thoughts that he forgot Albus who was waiting for him in the bedroom. He also forgot that his brother wasn't really patient, especially when his body was begging for release. He shouldn't have been that surprised so when Albus appeared in the doorway of the bedroom, stark naked, a smirk on his lips and a killing joke on his mouth:

"My ass is waiting for you babe! I swear you're going to make up for the wait…"

It is required to point out that the couch wasn't visible from the doorway.

James first reaction was to blush and then his eyes went wide. Albus immediately understood that something was wrong so he kept walking, forgetting his lack of outfit. When his eyes met those of his father, he didn't need a wand or even a spell to conjure clothes on both his body and James'. Yet, he wasn't embarrassed at all by the situation. He walked calmly to the couch, taking James' hand on his way and together they sat in front of Harry and Draco.

The four men were staring at each other. Albus and James didn't want to start the conversation and since Harry seemed to be processing a new kind of information, Draco made the first move. He put his hand on Harry's knee, forcing the grown-up to get out of his reverie.

"Harry, are you alright?" he whispered a bit worried.

"Since when…" finally said Harry, ignoring completely the blond.

James frowned but not Albus. He perfectly knew what was happening in Harry's mind.

"Our first time was at the end of summer."

And James understood what they were talking about.

"So you have been lying to me since then…"

"No!" exclaimed Albus. "You made up your mind on your own. We just didn't contradict you. It was so obvious you wanted to believe I was the only one with sick feelings; that we didn't want to break your delusion."

"My delusion, Albus?"

"Dad" said James with a very steady voice. "That doesn't matter what you're going to say. We're together since almost a year now. We thought about all the things you're about to tell us and that haven't and that won't change our mind. I love Albus as much as he loves me. And your opinion doesn't count. Of course I would love for you to understand. But I get it's impossible. Albus isn't at school anymore and we're gonna live together. We don't need your support, financial or moral. We can take care of each other. We talk about it a lot and we are sure of ourselves. That's what we want and if you can't accept it then we can't see you anymore."

It was difficult for James to say those words because he had always wanted his father's acceptance. He had always wanted his father to be proud of him. And it was obviously not the case anymore. But James knew what he wanted in his life. And sometimes you have to choose between what you need and what you want. Albus was both what James needed and wanted. James knew he couldn't live without Albus. But he could live without Harry. As he was asserted his thoughts, Albus looked at him, pride and love in his eyes. Their hands were clutched together, their fingers entwined.

"I can't believe you're telling me this, James. I thought, I don't know that Albus had… well."

"I know what you believed, dad. I know you thought that Albus was the only one madly in love. And I admit I took advantage of your belief. You made me question my feelings though and I'm even more sure of myself now. I know you can't see that but it is not a stupid teenager's want we're having. It is serious. Very serious."

"You can't possibly think that, James."

"I do."

"What about you Albus?"

"What do you think, Harry? You already know what I feel. As you told me a long time ago, my feelings are very clear in my paintings. And I told you I love him."

"All the things you told me, all the questions you came up with, I trusted you Albus. You just played me."

Harry had tears in his eyes and he didn't really know what they were for.

"I've never played you, dad. All the things I told you, that was the truth. Look at where you are today… You should be happy of what I've done to you and not blame me for nothing."

Albus was shaking now. He was angry and sad at his dad. He knew his father couldn't understand just by one talk what love meant for them. But James squeezed his hand and Albus regained composure. It was different for Harry and Draco. The blond was trying to comfort the other man but it was too much for Harry to take.

"I don't know what to say or feel. I just can't believe it."

"Well, dad." Said James as his final word. "Just remember that we have supported you with all your decision. Even the one that affected us. Albus was there for you with Draco. So think about it. We just ask you two to keep it for you. We don't even ask you to comprehend or support us. We don't want to fight with you. Please."

Draco was the one to react. He nodded to James and stood up, bringing Harry with him.

"We will keep it quiet, obviously. You've not chosen an easy path but we don't either. And I can understand you. I speak for myself when I say I hope you'll be both fine. But I think Harry is going to need some time…"

With a last look to the boys, Draco Dissapparated them. It was very silent afterwards. Albus and James stared at each other, understanding of what had just happened written all over their face. Their hands were still linked so James took benefit of it to pull Albus into a hug. Few minutes later, Albus was on his laps. They turned on the television, conscious they couldn't start their previous occupation again. They just needed some time to process the all thing.

…

It is funny to see that the way Ginny discovered their relationship was a bit similar to their last encounter with Harry, and yet totally different.

One month had passed since their finale discussion with Harry and it was still radio silence from his part. It was expected and the boys didn't mind. They were sad of course but they could do nothing about it. Besides, they were experiencing for the first time the joys of the life as a couple. They had a lot to learn but all in all, it was perfect. James was still busy with his training and matches but Albus didn't mind too much since he was discussing the terms of his first contract as an artist. He didn't have a studio in the apartment but James was happy to see him painting in the living room. It was messy and not really well tidied but it was great. And they were having a lot of fun.

As the month of July was coming to an end, the end of the Quidditch season was in sight. On the last match of James' team, day of the end of the championship, Albus was sitting in the bleachers. As the London Griffins won both the match and the championship, James and Albus couldn't be happier. They still ignored this day was in fact going to define the rest of their life.

After a long celebration with the team, they were both in a hurry to come home. For once, they didn't want to just Apparate. They decided to take some Muggle transportation. It was nice indeed to be in public without being recognized. Sure, they looked alike but they weren't clone either and so they could be seen hand in hand in the street. They took a cab and enjoyed the ride kissing each other all they can. As they stepped in their building, their mouths were glued and they had one urge: to be in their bed. Yes, they still could have Apparated but the expectation was making the wait even better. As they came into their apartment, their bodies almost merged into each other, neither of them noticed that the light was on. They didn't see the redhead of their mother, nor her stunned look as she was staring at them. They only heard the yells when they began. That night, Ginny went completely crazy. She was screaming sentences after sentences and didn't let his sons explain anything.

"What you are doing is horrible." She said for example. "You're disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You're not my sons anymore. I should have never had you. I should have never married Harry. He is a freak and I'm sure he is the one who gave you that idea. I don't want to see you. I'm gonna ruin your life. You will never see each other again…"

Etc. Etc. Etc.

Albus and James tried to stop her but it was impossible. So James did the only clever thing to do, he called his dad by Floo. Harry arrived immediately and he took care of Ginny without looking at his sons.

Albus and James didn't cry because of Ginny's outburst. She had said awful things but that didn't matter. She wasn't going to break their love because of her screams. No! But her threats… that was something else. She had done it to Harry and she could do it to his sons. Ginny wasn't very sane anymore and she could do anything.

So that night, James and Albus decided that their love was above everything else in their life. Above their family. Above their friends. Above their work. It had been decided the first time they had looked, really looked in each other eyes, the first time they had kissed. It was them against the world.

From there, packing didn't take too much time. Thinking about their destinations was also pretty easy. Then came the phone calls. There was a lot of things to prepare but in forty-eight hours, it was done.

As they were closing the door of their apartment, the rooms empty behind them, they knew they were closing a huge part of their lives. In fact they were closing their lives and were about to begin a new one. It is never easy to say goodbye but having in your hand the hand of the one you love makes things easier.

In front of their plane, James and Albus looked at each other a last time before they left England forever. Only determination was shining in their orbs. They knew they could do it. They didn't need to be married to know that they were together in sickness and in health, till death do them part. It was just obvious. The feeling of the other next to them was all they needed. All they had always needed.

…

**A year and a half later, somewhere in New-Zealand**

The noise of an owl knocking on the window was all it took to wake up the two boys who were still lying in bed after a late bedtime. It was already 3 in the afternoon. The younger of the two was the one to get up. He opened the window, took the letter and let the owl he knew well go to the kitchen. Then he fell on the bed, without much consideration for his partner. He was then pulled into a hug and after a quick kiss on the lips, the elder was spooning him, their eyes now focused on the note.

"So, what does she say?" asked James to his brother.

"How could I know? You do see that I haven't opened it yet." Answered Albus with a smirk.

"Then do it. Hurry up."

Albus complied and then read the letter eagerly.

"So…" asked James again because he didn't bother to decipher the awful handwriting of his sister.

"Lily says she will arrive on Christmas' Eve. She says she has good news about her internship but she will tell us everything then. She says thought she hopes we still have a room for her so I suppose the school agrees for her to study here."

"That's great!" exclaimed James with a huge grin. "Is that all?"

"No, she says we're going to have a surprise anytime soon."

At that instant, the doorbell of their house rang clearly. Albus and James looked at each other, frowning.

"Is that a joke?" asked James.

"I don't know. But move your lazy ass. I get up for the letter. It is your turn."

James rolled his eyes but kissed Albus nonetheless. It was one of their favorite game after all. He stood up and dressed quickly before he made his way to the door.

Albus was alone for almost five minutes when the voice of James suddenly started him.

"Al', come here" he heard but the voice seemed shaky and maybe watery.

Albus didn't wait to grab a shirt and his pajama bottom. Then he run in the house.

James was definitely shaking and crying but he had some good reason. His father was at the door. With Draco, of course.

"Dad…" whispered Albus, completely stunned. "What are you doing here?"

"Merlin! Albus, I'm so happy to see you…"

Albus didn't understand what happened next. All he knew was that he found himself in the arms of his father, James at his side.

A long while later, they made their way to the living room, still mute by the surprise. Since he needed some time to recover, Albus offered their 'guests' something to drink and he went quickly to the kitchen. Then he put his hands on the sink. He needed to hold on something. Anything. This wasn't a dream, was it? No, it was too vivid, too realistic. His dad was there. With Draco. In his house. He had done more than 10000 miles to see James and him. That was unbelievable.

When he finally came back to the living room, Albus stood near the couch his brother was in. He just couldn't sit right then. He was too dumbfounded. He needed to know it wasn't some kind of joke, or anything…

"So what are you doing here, dad?" he asked again.

"I want you to be my best man, Albus." Replied Harry because despite his age he was still a child and he just couldn't help but spill the news.

Albus' eyes went wide while James was just smiling. Even if Albus was a genius, sometimes James was cleverer. And he just knew it. He hadn't known how much time would take but he knew that eventually his dad would come back to them, to Albus. Al' was so stunned he forgot his dad was there. He sat on James' laps because it was the most natural thing he could do.

"We're going to get married." Explained Harry with a huge grin. "And of course, I can't have anyone else as my best man, Albus. You're the one who made it possible. You're the one who opened my eyes and my heart."

"So you told Draco you love him?" asked Albus as if it was the most obvious first question to ask.

"Yeah, we both managed." Answered Harry with a fond grin when he looked at Draco.

"Are you sure you want me?" couldn't help but ask Albus then. "I mean, you know…"

"These last years have been difficult, Albus. Without you two at my side, it was very hard. I thought a lot and Draco helped me. It's been very tough with your mother and all but since we finally get sometimes, just for us, I thought about what you said. All the things you ever told me. About love. About your need to feel. And of course you were right. I'm sorry for the things I said to you, to both of you. I didn't understand you but now I do."

"And you don't think it's weird?" asked Albus, frowning.

"Well, you're still my sons so yes it's odd. But since you're my sons, I just can't exclude you from my life. Besides, you obviously love each other. And who am I to deny you that?"

"I could have never imagined you would tell me that…" said Albus with a grin.

He turned to James, an evident urge to kiss him. Then he cleared his throat, remembering his dad was in the room.

"You can do it." mumbled Harry. "I'm not going to lose it. You're in your house after all."

James blushed of course but Albus went for it and gave a quick peck to his brother.

"That wasn't that bad, was it?" teased Draco as if it was a private jock between him and Harry.

It definitely was.

"I'm immune anyway… Last time I saw them, there were lots of tongues…"

"Such a fond memory…" ironized Albus.

Harry rolled his eyes and then the silence fell on the four men.

"Anyway" began Harry as if he was going on with their conversation. "You're not even brothers anymore if I believe what it's written on your letterbox…"

Albus and James looked at each other with a shy smile. After all, Harry seemed to be really okay with that.

"When we left London" said James "we agreed to change our whole life. If we wanted to start fresh we needed new names, new last names anyway. So we figured out that we could take Sirius and Severus ones."

"I don't recall Severus being named Prince…"

"I remembered you told me he hated the name of his father…" said Albus with a feint blush.

"That and Albus much preferred to call himself a Prince" laughed James.

"Yes, I can guess!"

Albus seemed to be offended so he turned to Draco who smirked. The blond wasn't going to say he didn't understand Albus. Why be a Snape when you can be a Prince?

And just like that, the atmosphere eased completely and they began to act around each other as if everything was perfectly normal. The thing is it was actually normal because it felt completely right.

Harry and Draco had brought enough clothes to stay until the end of the holidays. They had expected that if things were going to go well, they could stay at James and Albus' place. And of course, the two boys were more than happy to agree. During their dinner, Albus finally answered his father's question about being his best man and of course it was a big yes. Nothing could have made him happier.

Their evening went perfectly well. They had time to catch up. Even if Lily had kept the boys inform about the main event of the life in Europe, there were things they needed to know in details, as in their mother new life as a newly bride. Harry seemed a bit reluctant talking about it. That wasn't a good memory, especially because of Ginny's internment. He had been there for her, despite his relationship with Draco, and that had almost ruined everything. But anyway, his sons deserved to know. It was late when they all went to bed and it was even later they could all fell asleep…

… In fact Harry and Albus didn't fell asleep and they both got up in the middle of the night to find themselves on the patio. Albus had already taken out a cigarette when he noticed his father.

"You still haven't lost that habit?" asked Harry, mildly amused.

"Despite James' numerous attempts, it seems I can't help myself sometimes…"

"The reunion with your father seems appropriate."

"Exactly. So don't tell James if…" Albus stopped. "You know what, never mind. He will know it as soon as he'll look at me."

Harry laughed.

"Yes. That can be annoying when they do that."

"But I love to be aware he know me very well… That's reassuring."

"I do understand."

They looked at each other and fell into a communion silence.

After a very long while, Harry seemed to have finally made up his mind on something. He looked one last time at the garden then back at Albus.

"So tell me how it starts… Tell me everything. I'm ready to listen. And I want to."

Again, the two men stared at each other. Albus saw in his father's eyes there were understanding, curiosity and love. So after a few seconds collecting his thoughts, he looked straight into Harry's eyes and narrated the story of his love, of his life from his own point of view:

"I think it all began the night, don't know if you remember, when I told you to fuck off…"

**The End**

* * *

I don't know if you'll be interested by it people, but I intend to write this story from Harry's POV and of course everything that happened between Draco, Ginny and him... Just so you know. It would be called something like _"The L word is everywhere between us except in our mouth"_


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